The Sapphic Christmas

5th December. part 1

Sophie

New day, new beginning? I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Maybe we can skip this part and go straight to the happy ending?

Today's Wednesday, I'm finally going to my art classes. It's not that I miss it very much, but I have a photo that I want to draw. If suddenly this happens, it'll be amazing. At least because I'll complete one of the projects that our teacher likes to do.

In the morning I wake up to an annoying sound of my phone. It's Ella. She scrolled throw my twitter and left comments on many of my tweets. Is it good? I'm not sure about it, because I publish absolute nonsense. Pros? We spend more and more time talking and spending time together.

We text all day until my class starts. Ella's made a new video that will be released soon. She hopes that I'll watch it and tell my opinion. For some reason, she thinks that I should like it a lot (although  I like all of her videos).

Andy hugs me when we meet. He sits next to me all the time and I like it. It's easier to spend time together and not argue about some meaningless shit if we can't talk. While I'm still texting with Ella, my friend tells me about his week.

"So... why are you so smiley?" I see sparkles in his eyes. It almost hurts how happy he is when I'm happy.

"Nah, nothing important" I shake my head and put phone to the tote bag. He nods and stares. I'm not going to pay attention... probably.

To be honest, there's a part of me that wants to tell him everything. I really do. He's my best friend, he's always there's for me. He saw me at my lowest. I'm just afraid. I've known Ella for 5 days, I don't want to hype things up.

In class, I try to focus on a piece of paper in front of me, but my thoughts wander somewhere else. I think about the sea, Ella, my family, my work, my future, Andy, Ella and me. How long will our communication last? I'm scared to be left unexpectedly alone. The thoughts overwhelm me too much. One more thing: is it worth it to give each other gifts for Christmas. I guess I worry too soon. It's only December 5th, twenty more days until Christmas. On the other hand, something good rarely happens to me, and most likely, our friendship is already the brightest part of the next few years.

I manage to make a good sketch, after which I return home. Andy has a date, so he easily leaves me alone. We haven't talked much, but I'm sure we'll meet soon outside of the classes.

The closer to Christmas, the louder it gets outside. My head is about to explode from the noise. Besides, this's unusual for our town, and now I don't like absolutely everything that is unusual.

As soon as my head touches the pillow, I fall asleep. I always want to sleep, so there's no schedule. Especially since I've moved out from my parents. I just want miss all the bad moments of life.

A few hours later I wake up and see some new messages from Ella. I immediately apologize for the late reply, and then I continue the conversation from where we've left. I didn't know that she really likes decorating apartments until she talks about it for twenty minutes (I like her passion). To be honest, I'm not very enthusiastic about the process. I like the result.

"How much your decoration services will cost?" I'm joking.

"Free for you, darling. I can seriously come to you; we'll decorate everything together."

"I would be glad". How can I be calm when I'm talking to her? It doesn't seem like it's anything special, but it is. My house is my fortress, I don't let any strangers in here at all, but here I propose to come.

We agree that she'll come to me on the weekend, most likely on Saturday. I offer her to stay for a night or two. There's a problem – I have only one bed. "Okay," I say to myself "don't worry about that right now". I'll put myself a mattress or we share the bed with different blankets. It sounds like a plan, I take it. Well, I have a couch in the living room, but it's the most uncomfortable couch in the whole world.

It's only been five days since the trip to London, but it feels like we've known each other for a long time. Probably because we talk every day quite a lot. I think my crush won't go away that easily.