The Sapphic Christmas

8th December. part 1

Sophie

Since Ella has stayed at my house last night, in the morning I make breakfast for two. This's actually too unusual for me. While I lived with my parents, my mother always cooked food for everyone, and when I moved out, it was only for myself. So yes, cooking for two is new to me. It feels nice, but I'm worried that I might do something wrong.

I make toast with avocado and egg. It's quite tasty and filling. At least that's what it says on the internet. When I'd made this breakfast before, it didn't feel anything special or satisfying, but it's still quite nice.

We've woke up about an hour ago, but spent most of the time in my room, laying and talking. I was quite cold in the morning, because I'd slept under thin blanket the night. Now I've got a runny nose, which isn't at all happy. How can that be fun at all? Because of this, I feel winter even better. The season of sickness.

"Oh, it looks very yummy." Ella says as she enters my small kitchen. In general, I'm completely satisfied with the size of my apartment, but time by time I think that it's unrealistically small. I mean, it's perfect for one person, but it's small for two. What would it be if there were more people. Well, more than for two hours. Although, I must say, my bathroom is really big. It can comfortably fit two people, I think. I have never checked, and have not set myself such a goal before. "Bon appetite." I nod and repeat after her.

"Would you like tea or coffee?

"I'd like some tea, thank you." I feel like we go back to the 1800's. We're so polite and charming.

I want to ask what kind of tea she'd prefer. Then I realize I have only green tea, so I brew it. "No sugar, thanks." She smiles at me as I place a cup of hot tea in front of her. "Shall we start decorating in the morning? It seems to me that otherwise we'll not be able to force ourselves later if we don't start now."

"Let's do now." To be honest, I don't care. "We can go out for dinner tonight." We eat out almost all the time, it has already become a tradition to me. Okay, actually I just don't want to cook tonight. Somehow this idea doesn't appeal to me. First, because I can't cook. Secondly, cooking takes a lot of time and energy. It'd be better not to go anywhere, but to order food at home. Then we could eat and watch movies.

"Yes, if you want, we can."

"Or order delivery?" I suggest another idea.

"Shall we decide later in the evening?" Nodding, I get that we have nothing more to talk. Some time passes and we talk about the singers, movies and some light topics.

After breakfast, while I'm washing the dishes, Ella's starting decorating from the hallway. When I'm almost done, she comes up to me with a face full of sadness. To be honest, it quickly gets me worried. Why is she upset? What has she found in my house that has made her sad?

"What happened?"

"We forgot... about the Christmas tree." I wait another second, thinking that these words would have some continuation, but no. Here is her reason for sadness: we haven't bought a Christmas tree.

"You made me worry. Please don't do this again." I hug her, placing my hands on her shoulders. "Don't be upset, now we'll go for the Christmas tree." I look at her. Ella's smiling, finally. I know she wasn't that upset about the tree, I hope she won't joke like this anymore.

I go out in the same clothes that I wear at the house, and Ella puts new outfit. It's cute t-shirt with jacket.

"Do you mind if I shoot now?" Ella asks as we leave the apartment.

"Of course. You don't have to ask me every time." I like how the girl is dedicated to her work. She really loves what she does. When filming or even talking about filming, Ella looks like completely different person, she shines from inside. I always like it when people talk about their life-passion. At this moment, they look as satisfied and full of life as possible.

"Hi. Today is the eighth of December." She pretends to scream and joy, after which she relaxes and begins to talk with her usual voice. "I've stayed with Sophie last night to help her decorate the house for Christmas today. You know, I'm madly in love with this. And now we're going ..." she makes a small, barely noticeable pause. "to buy the Christmas tree. It just so happens that we haven't picked it last night, so we're doing it now. What time is it?" I look at my wrist watch and say:

"9:26 a.m." Actually, I thought it was eight-something now. Okay, we're not in hurry, so it's fine.

"It's nine twenty-six. I'm taking you with me to choose the best Christmas tree ever." She turns off the camera. "My hand is a little numb." She seems embarrassed to talk to me about it.

"You really like doing it, don't you?"

"Yes, in fact, I love it." That's pretty interesting. Maybe at least I'll talk to her about this topic. We get in the car, and I give the right to choose the music to Ella. Unsurprisingly, it includes Christmas music, and Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" plays first. This song came out years ago. If you think about it, there're no words about Christmas, but still ... this song has the right atmosphere for a winter holiday. I really like it.

"Does it take a lot of time to do?" I keep trying to talk to Ella about her career.

"Nope. Well, sometimes I edit for hours, but I get used to it. At the daytime, I must not forget to shoot, but I'm not good at it." She's filming the views from the window again. Ella seems to be annoyed by my attempts to speak, so I decide to shut up. Our communication is like a swing. At one moment we talk a lot, laugh, joke, share something - and the next second we find ourselves at the bottom: even a simple dialogue seems hard to handle. If we really were sitting on a swing, we would know that the moment of "high" will come. However, there's no predictions in real life. Will it?

I should care less about it, but I just can't bear to think that our friendship can end before it starts. I hope my crush won't make it worse.

My head starts to hurt because of all these thoughts. Everything is mixed up in my head. Do all people have these feeling?

I've never really been able to understand people, it seems that I just can't do it. I try to put myself in their shoes, to understand what they feel, what they experience, but in fact it doesn't help. I still don't understand people. How can someone understand a person at all, if they aren't on the best terms even with yourself?

I'm completely lost in thought, but it seems that Ella's thinking about something of her own. So we drive to the store without exchanging a single word after the girl starts filming.