The Sapphic Christmas

5th December. part 2

Ella

Today is my second day off, and today I've promised myself not to go out. The purpose of my staying at home is to take a break from society, so why do I constantly return to people? Okay, whatever, I'll just stay and do nothing.

I start the vlog at the morning as usual, but I understand that I won't be able to show anything special today. I think how I can do my morning or whole day more interesting for my viewers. I don't think anyone will be interested in watching me watch holiday movies. That's exactly what I'm going to do today. After some thought, I decide to sort out my closet and select what will go to waste, what I'll keep, and what I'll give to charity or to someone in need. Maybe this'll be a little more interesting. I don't know why, but some people love looking in my closet (like I haven't already come out of it).

After thinking a little more, I decide to bake gingerbread cookies. Although soon I'll post a video on the main channel about baking. Moreover, today is only the fifth of December, there're still twenty days before Christmas. No one can't be strongly tuned into the holiday now, because gradually this mood will go out.

I want to lie in bed for a while, maybe even get some extra sleep, but I can't. Work doesn't wait. Plus, today I have time to wrap some of my gifts. I also need to open my Advent calendars. There're too many of them, in my opinion, but company sent it for free. I can't complain.

I still force myself to get up and put on my favorite sweatshirt I have. It's so big that one more person could fit here. Should I offer the activity to Sophie?

I shake my head to dismiss the thoughts. It's useless. If this continues, the girl will be in my thoughts too often, and this isn't what any of us need. Moreover, I'm not even sure if she considers me as a friend or potential partner. Although, perhaps, we're friends. We've spent much time together since our meeting in Brighton.

I turn on the camera and talk about how today is my second day off, that I don't have any burning projects right now, so today I just want to take a break, finish cleaning up and bake cookies to watch some movie. Maybe I should call some friends, but I'm pretty sure they have plans today. I'll just send a tiktok in our group chat, and that'll be enough. I also talk about the fact that all my upcoming videos have been edited, and even vlogs are now released on the same day they're filmed. Sometimes in the evenings I don't have enough energy to edit, so I do this work in the mornings, or when I have time.

Nothing else seems to be happening, so I turn off the camera and go to the kitchen to have breakfast. Somehow, I'm lazy to do anything today.

Sometimes I think about quitting YouTube. Maybe I'll open offline business, maybe café or coffee shop. Somewhere in Europe or USA or Canada. I know I have a chance to do it, but it's a big decision so I'm scared even to think about it.

I pour yogurt over my granola and go back to bed. A little more sleep won't hurt me.

The whole day goes by, I try to force myself to do something. At six o'clock I understand that it's no longer possible to make excuses. Today's material may be enough for forty minutes or less, but all my day is watching the movies. From time to time as I work and re-edit videos that come out next week. It's much easier to work when there's still time before the deadline, actually. No pressure, no responsibility.

I know that I talk about it much, because it's unusual for me

"Well, I'm still ripe for at least something to do today," I say to the camera. "Now I'll quickly sort things out, then I'll cook cookies and then wrap the gifts. I have already said it earlier, right? It doesn't seem like it should be too hard. How long do you think this will take?"

Cookies take a lot of energy, so I turn on the music to not to die of boredom. Of course, there're Christmas hits. I bake cookies and sing all the songs. An hour later, I have my first batch of cookies ready.

As I eat them, I wrap gifts for my friends while "Fred, Santa's Brother" is played on the background. Since gift wrapping doesn't take long for me, after that I just watched the movie and edited the video, nothing out of the ordinary.

When I've already decided to go to bed, in order to at least get enough sleep before a hard day, Sophie texts me back. Honestly, I'm overjoyed by her offer to decorate her house. This's exactly what I've been missing lately. Since I can now fully work from home, except for tomorrow, it's even better.