The Sapphic Christmas

6th December. part 2

Ella

From the very morning I know that I won't be able to take a break until the evening, but I try to relax and not worry about it. Honestly, I'm not doing great, but I shouldn't give up trying. I have to get up at five thirty, start vlogging, pack up and go to London. Sometimes I think about moving here, because most of the business meetings happens in the city. However, I can't life in the rhythm of big city, the crowds, the unstoppable noise. In train, I've edited the video, but honestly, at that moment I only want to sleep. Everything is messed up in my head, and I can't fully concentrate on work. When I get to the office, there's no chill vibe, none positive energy. I'm sent to the make-up artist (their name is Teo), then they do my hair (The hairstylist named Joe), and all this just for the sake of one interview and the presentation of a new collection.

"Hi." Katrina hugs me. "Do you remember the schedule?"

"Now – photoshoot. 1 p.m. - an interview for a magazine, 2 p.m. - a presentation of all cosmetics and products?" I clarify. I'd love to skip the photoshoot. Firstly, I'm super nervus, I sweat a lot, I have a headache every time. I'm used to be in front of camera, but it's hard to be in front of a lot of people They're all telling me what to do, how to do it. I have to always smile, be extra friendly. It's hard to do for hours. Secondly, I'm not a fan of their heavy editing. I don't look like myself in the magazines. When little kids look at this, they believe that they must be the skinniest ones to be loved. They might not understand it, but it's happening. There're thousands of persons, who has mental and physical problems because of the media representation of unrealistic body standards. I don't want to be the reasons of someone's low esteem. However, I don't feel like I can do anything about it, to be honest. It sucks, but sometimes I feel powerless. Like there's nothing I can do, but talk about the problem.

"Yes, yes." She nods as she looks at me in the mirror. "Excellent. Do you need help with your vlog?"

"That would be nice, thanks." I decide to shoot at that moment, just to tell what is happening in general. I haven't said a word on camera yet for this vlog, so let's get started:

"Hey, everyone. Today is the sixth of December, and my beauty products are coming out today. I hope you'll enjoy it. It's so exciting. I'm literally shaking." I show myself in the mirror and how one of my hands is shaking now. "Anyway, today's one of the busiest days of the month. I hope the video will be more interesting. Or would it be better to do something else?" I just shrug my shoulders, as if giving the audience time to think. "Ah, look at what outfit I'm wearing today. I, personally, really like it a lot. I feel like the holidays are coming." I'm wearing big sweater and eco-leather pants. Well, it's kind of my usual look, nothing extraordinary, but it suits me. "How cute is it?" I say smiling.

Before leaving home, I've started to upload new video, it's on timer. I've known that I wouldn't have time to do it before-during-after the meetings. I wish Sophie would be one of the first person who'll see it. It wasn't done just for her, but it's connected with her.

"Ella." Katrina's intonation scares me. Most likely the building on fire and we have no chance to be saved. Or something worse. "Change of plans. Firstly, goes the conference, then we go to the magazine's office and do interview there."

"Okay, is there nothing to be done?" She nods. I don't worry because I'm powerless in the situation. I turn on the camera and say that all our plans have changed. The presentation of the collection takes place in a large hall, I have never been there. It won't start until four. Nevertheless, we decide to go there now in order to prepare. If we have time, why not make the most of it. Plus, Katerina will have a heart attack if anything will go wrong.

Everything passes somehow by me; I constantly struggle with sleep. Usually, I can easily survive and accept a four-hour sleep, but today every time I close my eyes, I fall asleep. It's a little strange, but I still need to stay alert for a while. So, we have coffee break. It hardly helps, so I continue my fight.

When I get an alarm, I check if the video is out. It is, so that I text Sophie to watch it. I want to know her opinion.

It's almost four o'clock, I'll have to go on stage soon. I'm going to talk about all the products in general, and answer some questions from fans and journalists. I have a taboo on some questions for press. However, it's live event so we wouldn't be able to do anything in the situation if something goes wrong. Well, I can ask for a different question, but it will seem strange.

Ten minutes later, Sophie answers me. I chit-chat with her a little bit, but all my thoughts are somewhere else. Honestly, I'm terribly worried. Now it seems like a lot of work to me, but I also understand that I just need to survive the performance, try to do my best. I promise Sophie to call her later. I just need some time to get ready right now. I don't have a lot of plans after that. This presentation will probably last about forty minutes, then the interview will be most likely the same, an hour top, but this happens very rarely. In any case, it won't be long, which means that very soon I'll be able to go home and sleep. Or stay with my team, who's directly involved in the project. Yes, I think it's a better choice. Still, they've been working as much as I have, and this way we can celebrate together.

**

Everything went great! I didn't stumble anywhere; I was confident on stage. Well, interviews have never been difficult for me.

I'm sitting in a cafe with all the people who created the products and were involved in promotion of this cosmetics. We talk about our work together, plans for the next year and some stuff besides the work. I'm not close to anyone at this table, but I like them and grateful for their help.

As soon as I get to the hotel (yes, again) I immediately fall asleep. Bed feels warm and comfortable and all my stress goes away. When I wake up, fortunately, even "today" I order dinner and call Sophie. We haven't discussed decorating her house yet. I don't know her favorite colors, her budget, her inspiration.

We agree on a trip, and in the meantime, someone started knocking on my room. After saying goodbye to Sophie, I open the door to the waiter who's brought my dinner. Great, this night just keeps getting better and better.