The Sapphic Christmas

7th December. part 1

Sophie

I haven't got much sleep at night and at six I'm ready to go. I take my laptop and drive to Northing. We've decided to meet there, because Ella still doesn't have a car, so I'll pick her up there. I have a lot of time before meeting with the girl, so I'm going to get some work done. As a freelance translator I'm free from office. My parents are from Russia and Willian and I know Russian language pretty well. Our grandparents moved in UK with their children in late 80's- early 90's. I know it was hard for them and I'm glad everything is okay know. They have friends and family around. Plus, I can't images myself anywhere else, but UK. It's kind of easy for me to switch languages, because we used to speak with great-grand parents in Russian. So now I'm a translator.

I've spent about forty minutes to drive here, and then the same amount of time to find the cafe, where we're going to meet with Ella. I sit down at a table near the window. The city's also located on the ocean. It's adorable view; I love the seagulls, the morning vibe.

The waiter brings me my tea, for which I thank them with a short "thanks". I feel uncomfortable alone in the empty cafe. I know it's only in my head, but I feel like everyone's staring at me. They hate me for making them do the job.

I manage to get rid of all the disturbing thoughts a little by focusing on work. However, when I raise my head, I see that it was temporary, and I still feel uncomfortable here. Perhaps the reason's the atmosphere in the cafe: there're a lot of people here now, and they're all in a hurry somewhere. On the bright side, it's like white noise, so I don't mind (well, it's not like I have a choice).

When I almost finish my tasks, I can no longer be here. My head is almost spinning and I can feel upcoming anxiety attack. I quickly pay for my breakfast and go outside. I know it won't save me, but it's easier to handle in distance from others.

I go back into my car and take out my laptop again. I have a little more to edit. Hope it doesn't take long. What am I supposed to do with the rest of the time until Ella arrives? I don't know. Maybe I'll sleep there for a while. I should have thought about if before leaving my apartment, but I was tired of the walls.

It's half past one, and I've already finished all my work. I'm texting Ella that I'm already in the city. If she is here, we can meet earlier. Because the sooner we start, the sooner we finish. I hope this rule will works. What are we going to buy? For what amount? Which stores exactly we'll visit? Will we be comfortable around each other?

Ella asked for a picture of my apartment last night, but I only saw the message this morning. After taking few photos, I sent it to her without thinking that I had her portrait in my room. I mean some sketches of that photo. I take it sometimes, but I didn't mean to show it to Ella. I don't know why, but I don't want to tell her about the painting yet. She liked the photo itself, which means that everything is fine.

At 1 p.m, I'm still at my car, when Ella answers me. She's already in this city, but she has to finish some business. And since the girl is without a car, it can take a long time. Therefore, we've decided to meet, so that I would give her a lift to the right place and wait there.

"Hi," she hugs me. "Would you like to come in for lunch?"

"I'm not very hungry, but if you want..." I don't have time to finish, because she interrupts me:

"I'm not hungry either, we can go."

It's a beautiful city, I hope we'll have time to visit the beach after shopping. We drive to some office buildings, and in just fifteen minutes, Ella finishes her business, and we hit the road.

"Would we stop on the way to the gas station?"

"Yes, probably." I don't quite understand why she's interested in this. As if something strongly depends on whether we go somewhere. "Why?"

"I want to buy tea there." It sounds a little strange, but I just nod and shrug. If the tea at the gas station is somehow better, then good, but I haven't noticed this before. "How are you?"

"Pretty good." Or close to it. "And you?"

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Which store will we go to first?" Of course, there's still a long way to go, but I just want to know exactly where we're heading first.

"To Ikea, and then to several small stores. For now, that's the plan. If you know places you like, we can go there."

"Nope, none." I don't understand this at all. For me, the main thing in the store is food, and I don't care about everything else. "Have you ever been in this city?"

"I think, about five years ago I went with the school." How old is she? What school did she go to? Where? Her full name, hobbies other than YouTube... I really don't know anything about her, and she doesn't know anything about me either.

"How old are you?" Is that bad tone? I'm nervous about nothing and everything at the same time.

"Twenty. And you?"

"Twenty-one. We should get to know each other more." I say, and then I understand that this phrase confuses me. Ella looks perfectly cool, so I breath-out calmly.

"I guess we can do that while decorating your house, right?" I nod, no longer taking my eyes off the road. I wouldn't want to get into an accident. "Do you think that such clouds can bring snow?"

"Maybe." I have no idea, honestly. This concludes our conversation with Ella, and she plugs her phone into my car, turning on her Christmas playlist.

What are her interests? What does she want to achieve from life? What are her parents like? Maybe she's in a relationship (although social media has proven otherwise). What books does she like?

We don't know anything about each other. All I know about Ella is that she loves Christmas, she is twenty, she has her own YouTube channel, she travels quite a lot, she loves coffee, she has a car that is currently broken. She really works like a responsible person. It's all. I don't even know where she lives. It's not that I don't know the house or the street, I don't even know which city. Maybe the girl is not from England at all, how should I know?

We are really strangers.