The Sapphic Christmas

6th December. part 1

Sophie

Thursday has never been so boring in my life. It's already four o'clock in the evening, and I literally got out of bed only twice: to go to the toilet and to take my laptop to do my work. And since it rarely takes me a very long time, I just lay most of the day. Sometimes I fall asleep, sometimes I answer Ella's messages, but the rest of the time I really just lay and look at the ceiling or at things in the room surrounding me. I seem to be back to my normal self. I wish so badly that time would fly by as fast as possible. Can someone rewind life until the moment when there're no longer such boring and unnecessary hours. When every day I find something more interesting to do than staring at the wall.

When I'm ready to nap for the third time, my phone buzz. I open my eyes and see incoming video call from Andy.

"Hi." I answer and look at my happy friend. He's always full of energy, happiness and positive vibes. I think we're friends for the balance of the universe.

"Hey, sleepy beauty. What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find some reasons to stay alive and not to kill the person who called me when I was almost asleep." He doesn't like when I joke about my depressing thoughts, but he politely smiles. "What about you?"

"I'm at work. What's new? I haven't seen you for a while."

"We've seen each other on the week. Art class, remember?"

"It's not the same." I roll my eyes. "So, I'll ask again: what's new?"

"Well... I've met a girl. Before you say a word: we're just friends. Unlike you, I won't date someone who I know less than a week".

"I don't date strangers, but go on."

"Well, there's nothing to tell. She's a YouTuber, cute, funny. She has the cutiest smile on the Earth."

"Don't you like my smile?" Andy smiles wild, he reminds me a shark at the moment.

"I love your smile, but it's not the same."

"So, just friends, you said?"

"Yep. What's up with you?"

"Nothing much."

We chit-chat a little more, than he has to go back to work. It feels nice to talk to him, I feel a bit better.

I turn over and look out the window. It's cloudy outside, but I like it. Also, it seems to me that the sun has recently set and that's why it looks so dark and kind of gothic in my flat. I've really spent all my time in bed as my mother says. I don't think it's a bad thing. That way I'm not harming anyone, they can be sure that their wicked daughter isn't doing anything illegal, anything that could put shame on their name like prostitution, isn't that good enough news? And besides, everyone always knows where to find me, except maybe one day a week.

My phone beeps, alerting me to a new message. Ella has to be at some important meeting right now, so I'm a little surprised.

"The video is out!"

What video? And why the exclamation point? I never get why people use it. When do you decide to raise your voice and pay attention to it? Is it possible to put it every time? As if: Such a good day! Your dog shit on my lawn! Get out of the way, please! I give up, looks like it's possible. I give up, it looks like it's possible! Even this works. I accept defeat, and yes, it can be placed, literally, anywhere!

It seems that we haven't talked about anything highly expected. In general, I rarely watch videos on YouTube. When I start texting Ella with the question, I get why she's texted me. Something I have to watch and rate. If it's important for her to know my opinion, then I'm ready to help.