Jay Halstead x Reader
You was used to this routine now, Jay shutting down after cases involved guys from the forces. You knew the glazed look in his eyes and that was enough to tell you he was here physically but mentally he was elsewhere. Sometimes it would only last a couple of days but other times lasted months and you was afraid to admit how you was feeling and that it was starting to take its toll on you.
The constant drinking, you understood it was a way of numbing the pain but you was getting worried now. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't break through the walls he put up.
Which was why you was currently laid in bed wearing one of Jay's shirts, silent tears rolling down you cheeks. You didn't know what to do anymore, Jay wouldn't speak to anyone about what he was going through, he just muddle through on auto pilot and that scared the shit out of you that one day it would get him killed. And a good 80% of the time he showed up to work with a hangover.
Hearing the front door slam shut followed by the sound of the fridge opening and closing you knew he was home and went straight for the beer. Before the sounds of is footsteps on the stairs became louder.
"Baby whats wrong" he panicked as he saw you laid in bed crying but you ignored him afraid of saying something you'd regret "come on please talk to me Y/N, whats happened"
"I can't keep doing this Jay" You sighed running your hand over your face.
"Doing what?" He asked sitting next to you on the bed.
"Everything, I understand you are going through some shit right now but you say you'll stop, but then you keep doing it!" You sobbed not looking at your husband. "The drinking, the slamming doors, shutting everyone out. I'm not okay if you're not Okay Jay"
Jay knew he had taken things a bit too far this time but he just couldn't snap out of it especially since Mouse had just re-enlisted.
"I am trying" He sighed
"Are you though, the amount of times you have gone to work hungover and on auto pilot" You whispered "I am scared that one day I will get a call at work saying that you died on the job, you shut me out constantly and I can't take it anymore"
"I don't know what to do Y/N" He sobbed resting his head in your lap.
"Just let me in, let me help, you need to speak to someone" You whispered running your hand through his hair. "Before this completely swallows you up and I lose my husband for good"
"Okay I will speak to someone, but can you just hold me" He mumbled
"I will hold you as long as you need me to" You whispered "I know this is going to be a long road but we will take it a day at a time"
