(Repeat Ocean Eyes By Billie Eilish)
Grayson's Of View
Friday
December 19, 2016
I caress her cheek as she lies her head on my chest listening to my heart beat. I hate seeing her cry, I hate that she's going through so much right now. She doesn't deserve this.. "It's gonna be okay. I've got you." I whisper to her, I need to keep her calm, when she cry's her breathing gets unstable and she hyperventilates. She doesn't say anything, she hasn't said anything for about an hour now and that's okay.
I don't know what exactly her dad said to her mom but it doesn't matter, what matters is that what he's doing is hurting Z and she's been hurt enough. How can parents put their kids through something like this? Through so much trama.. after what feels like a few minutes her sniffling stops, it's replaced with her soft breathing. "Z? You awake?" I whisper, she doesn't say anything she softly 'hm's'. She's going to sleep.
I lower my head leaving a light kiss on her forehead. "I love you." I whisper again, holding her as she falls asleep on me chest. She moves a little, getting comfortable moving into me. "I love you more." She whispers making me laugh lightly, she doesn't know how wrong she is.
"Impossible." I whisper just before she gives into her sleepiness. It hurst me knowing she cried herself to sleep tonight...
__
I stare at the ceiling, my arm around Z's body as she sleeps with her head on my chest.
I wish could just protect her from all of this.
It hurts me to see her hurting. After last night and now tonight, I can't help but think about how pissed I am with her dad. How his recent actions makes me so mad that I could just hit him, like really hit. He's a good guy, I know he is, but he's just hurting Z with his selfish anger for her mom. If Z wants her in her life then that's what she wants. That's her mom.
My head is just crowed with so many thoughts tonight, not just about Z's situation... I feel bad that I can't completely enjoy being here with her. To cheer her up like I should. All I can think about is the past, what happened the last time I was here, a few months ago... I think what really hurts is how Julissa hates me, or at least it feels like she does. I thought she was the love of my life, and now we're here... not even talking to one another. Not looking at one another.
Suddenly I hear my phone ding. I reach for it, grabbing it off the nightstand, reading the message.
Jay
Hey, are you up?
Yeah, you okay?
I'm fine... I just can't sleep.
Can we talk? Like you come
to my room and talk?
I look beside me making sure Zhaviah is sound asleep before I reply.
I've been wanting to talk too...
is Cam up?
No, she's out cold.
__
Slowly, I quietly and gently get out of bed. I don't want to wake Z, I carefully pull away from her. I put some sweat pants on, then a t-shirt. I sneak out of my room, and then out of the hotel room, instead of knocking on her door I text that I'm outside and she wastes no time opening the door. She puts her finger over her mouth signaling me not the say anything, so I don't.
I follow her and she brings us to her room, I step in first and she closes the door softly behind us. "Does Z know you're with me?"
