(Repeat You Should Know Where I'm Coming From By Banks)
Zhavia's Of View
Saturday
December 20, 2016
It feels like everything has been leading up to this. To the race, the dieting, the training with Ethan, all of it.
I just need to put last night out of my head. Dad is loosing his damn mind, I get it he doesn't like my mom; but a restraining order against her? That's too far, it's like he blames her for how I've been acting lately when it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with him.
I put my EarPods in, turning up the volume to the max. I've already showered and put on my clothes. I just need to finish doing my hair. It doesn't take too long to do, I got up around five and decided to take my braids out. Ethan was also up around that time but honestly I think I'm avoiding him.
And it's not because I want to because I don't, I just can't help but get this kind of feeling when I'm around him. A feeling that I can't explain, but at the same time it scares me. It scares the living hell out of me. Yet it's not scarier than the thought of possibly being pregnant, I'll never admit it out loud but Cam is right. I need to take a test, and I will.
I walk back to Grayson's room, I'm kind of shocked to see that he's awake now. He was out cold like ten minutes ago. He's sitting up scrolling on his phone. I make my presents known by leaving a kiss on his cheek. "Morning, you okay?" He gives me a look full of sympathy, he probably assumed I'd still be bawling my eyes out. I literally cried myself to sleep...
I'm not sure I would have made it through the past two nights without having a panic attack or running away from all of this if it wasn't for him. I shrug, hopping on the bed now sitting in front of him. "I think I have to be, at least for today. Everyone is counting on me, I'm counting on me. I'm just.. I'm just gonna try not to think about it." It seems like the best thing to do, otherwise I'll worry myself to death just thinking about it. He takes my hand in his, holding it as he begins to look into my eyes.
"Well there's something I kind of wanted to talk to you about, but I can save it until after the race if you want me to." I furrow my brows, if it's bad... do I really want to hear it now? "Could you hold it until after the race? I just- I don't want to-"
He shakes his head 'no' cutting me off. "You don't need to explain. I'll save it." I really love him, with everything going to shit right now, he's really making things better.
He pulls me into his lap, using my hand. He places place a light kiss on my forehead making me smile. God he's so sweet, loosely, I wrap my arms around his neck, this just makes me feel closer to him. "When did you take your braids out?" He tucks some of my curly hair behind my ear. "This morning, you were still out and I didn't want to wake you so I just gave myself something to do."
"I wanted to see you take them out..." He looks disappointed which only makes me laugh, he's always so interested in what I'm doing to my hair. "I didn't want to wake you up, it's not that interesting I just soak them in water really and they dissolve." I say it with such a serious look on my face, he's probably going to actually believe me. His face twist into confusion and I can't help but crack a smile which only turns into a laugh. "I can't tell if you're joking or not.."
"I'm kidding I cut them and unbraid until they come out."
"But how do you know where to cut the braid?"
"Ugh so many questions, I don't interrogated you about how you style your fur." He just rolls his eyes he knows that's a bold faced lie. I'm always watching him style his hair. I swear he spends more time on his than I do mines. I genuinely don't know what I would do if I had straight or wavy hair... I love my curls. "Fur?" Now he wants to acknowledge that I said fur instead of hair...
