(Repeat Wandering Romance By Jorja Smith)
Zhavia's Point Of View
Wednesday
October 21, 2016
I rush downstairs going to answer the door. I was just getting some studying in since I finished all of my homework. The doorbell rings yet again as I reach the bottom of the stairs.
"I'm coming!" I shout, whoever is, is impaciente as hell. I unlock the door, opening it to see Grayson. My arms cross irritated, here we go. "You look beautiful." He smiles softly he doesn't see me without makeup often, but when he does... I nod my head a bit.
"Thanks, look I don't want to talk. I don't want to fight either. If this is about me not answering your texts I told Ethan to tell you that I just need space okay. So just go home-"
"Hey! You're here. Took you long enough." My dad walks up from behind me and out of the door going to Grayson.... what? "Um, what?" I ask raising a brow.
"We're going out to eat. I asked you to come but you said you had to study so Grayson and I are going. I wanted to talk to him and he said he was more than happy to. You don't mind if I borrow him do you?" He looks at me waiting for an answer. I look at him, then at Grayson, and back to him. "Whatever, have fun." I huff out sarcastically before turning around to go back upstairs.
"She's mad at me right now..." I hear Grayson tell my dad. I'm not mad, I mean I was. I'm just hurt. "She's just stubborn, we can talk about it over food." My dad jokes before I hear the door close. I guess the good thing is my dad isn't trying to kill him...
I finish walking upstairs and look at my desk, staring at everything I was just studying. When I get overwhelmed with anything I know that means there is only two things to do. That's run, or watch Princess And The Frog. I hop on to my bed grabbing the remote knowing what to do.
I go to Netflix, clicking on it. Maybe this will cheer me up at least a little. It begins to play and about twenty minutes in, there is a knock at my room door. Who in the hell? "Yeah?" I pause the movie.
"It's me, can I come in?" It's Ethan, just Ethan... I think about my answer, I don't even get the chance to answer when the doors opened by him. "Depends, are you here to make me feel worse than I already do?" I turn my head looking at him to see a look of sympathy on his face. "I just wanted to check on you. You barely said five words at school. You know 'tell Grayson I need space' you can talk to me." I just lightly laugh shaking my head to myself.
"You don't have to play dumb, I know you herd us yesterday. It's fine you herd him..." He just looks down after nodding. I wasn't sure he knew, kind of was hoping he didn't. "That and your talk with Julissa.. I hate to say it Z, but they have, had a connection. One we will never understand." He shrugs, he closes my door and walks to my bed taking a seat in front of me.
"We? Why would you want to understand it?" I ask confused, what does he mean? "Doesn't matter, not anymore. All I know is I've gotten in enough fights with him to know my brother is crazy about you.."
"That means absolutely nothing if he's 'in love' with her." I sigh pulling my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms loosely around my legs. "I wish I could comfort you, tell you that I know he isn't, that he didn't mean it. But I don't know, I know that he's been crazy about you since I can remember.." I hate how compassionate he is.
I shake my head no to myself, I feel bad. "Are you speaking for him or yourself?" His possible answer to my question makes my stomach flip. "Can't it be both?" He jokes, but I don't smile. This isn't funny...
"Ethan I hope you don't really think that I'll crawl to you if Grayson and I don't work. You shouldn't put yourself in a position to be second place. You deserve to be first... just not mine. I don't deserve you. I never will-"
"So you that's why you think you deserve Grayson? Because I'm 'too good' for you." I shrug not knowing if that's what I was trying to say. "I'm saying you deserve a good girl." He just smiles cocking his eyebrow... kind of hot.
"And you're not a good girl?" He asks furrowing his brows leaning a bit forward causing my breath to subconsciously hitch. I look up from my knees looking him in the eyes, before I speak up I lick my lips. "Not.. in.. the.. slightest." I respond, he shrugs smirking.
"Mmh, you know what I think?" He asks, I shrug smirking. "Enlighten me."
"I think you are a good girl, a good girl with thoughts that make you want to escape your own mind. You just don't want anyone to see that this whole tough girl thing is a facade. Truth is Zhavia, you are good. It's not that you don't deserve me. It's far from that. You deserve more than my brother, hell more than me. You might not come to me right away when it ends, but eventually you will. You know what you want, I know think about me." He's so sure of himself that it annoys me. I just don't want to see him hurt.
Why does he have to make this so hard... is he right?
"Is that what you want to here? Of course I've thought about you. They are just thoughts."
"Are?" He asks looking confused, did I really just say that? "I meant were, look we shouldn't be talking like this it feels like, I don't know like I'm cheating on Grayson so can we drop this?" I raise my brow waiting for his answer.
"You're right I'm out of line... I said I was okay being friends again so that's what I'll do." A smile creeps on to my face.
"Thank you Ethan."
__
I get to the bottom of the stairs just knowing it's my dad since he and Grayson have been out since seven. It's currently nine.
I open the door reviling my dad... who's still with Grayson. My dad looks between us before sighing. "I'll let you two talk, I'm glad we could talk." My dad smiles at Grayson, stepping inside, giving me a kiss on the cheek before he heads upstairs. We just stare at one another.. I notice his hands behind his back confusing me.
"Listen babe, I don't think I'll ever be able to describe the feeling Julissa gave me. It shaped me, broke me, but loving you fixed me. It is you who makes me feel whole again. The last thing I want is to ever be the cause of your pain. I love you Zhavia, I'm in love with you. I will always." He reveals what's behind his back, handing me a single red lotus. I take it from him not saying a thing.
I examine the flower that has a great meaning to me. "I understand if you're still upset with me. I know what I said was hurtful but I didn't mean it. I did love her, but I didn't know what being in love felt like until I started to fall for you. I didn't chase you for this long just to ruin it. I'm sorry." He says making me smile, I nod understanding.
"I except your apology... considering you just spent the whole evening with my dad, bought me another red lotus, and just gave me that whole speech." He exhales in relief, grabbing my hand pulling me into a hug. His hand around my waist and mines around his neck.
"I love you too Grayson."
