(Repeat It's Ok By Tom Rosenthal)
Zhavia's Point Of View
Friday
October 16, 2016
"She and I have a history, I can't ignore that. However, I feel like you and I... have a future and I can't ignore that. Trust me I have tried."
"Me too, it's just. I wouldn't blame you if you still thought about her like that. I just remember how upset you were when she had to leave." He just takes a deep breath looking off, I hope I'm not crossing a line. I just want him to know I get it.
"I don't want to sound like a jerk I just-"
"You don't want to talk about it. I get it." He nods and we finish eating, eventually taking an Uber back to my place. He was quiet the whole ride. I think I overstepped... I just look out the window the whole ride. Until we pull up in front of my house.
He walks me up to my door and doesn't say anything once we reach me door. "Hey, I'm sorry if I overstepped. Back at the restaurant I didn't mean to." He reaches for my hand, taking it in his holding it. "You didn't do anything it just, it kind of knocked me back. The past kind of hurts to think about. Just thinking about it sometimes gives me a panic attack." He says sounding kind of ashamed.
"It's okay, that it hurts. You don't have to hide it you're human you feel. I just don't want you to feel like you have to shut me out, ever." I step into him, giving him a hug comforting him. He pulls back softly smiling now. "You know that night you brought me my favorite flower in my favorite color?" I ask shifting the conversation.
"Yeah, I was a dick..." I giggle before speaking up. "I kept them, the flowers. Something made me feel like I'd regret it if I threw them away. That and I don't think any other guy will ever do something like that."
"That's because any other guy won't know you like I do. I've liked you since I was eleven, I've had a lot of practice." Wait did he just say eleven? "You mean to tell me you liked me since the sixth grade? Grayson you hated me back then." I say seriously but he shakes his head to himself. "I definitely liked you back then. From the moment you pushed me. I was like 'damn this girl is so pretty' I didn't even focus on the fact that you pushed me."
"You deserved it, you came up to me and scared me. I just did what I had to." I lightly punch his shoulder. "You did what you wanted to." He says squinting his eyes. "Always have always will." I flip my hair, jokingly.
"Well, do you want to invite me inside. I was thinking that-"
"Since my dad is out of town that I'd let you inside and you'd 'have your way with me'?" I whisper the last part in a seductive tone.
"Something like that, so what do you say?" I smile leaning forward into him softly whispering into his ear. "Not on the first date." I go to open the door. "This is the same Zhavia who had sex me last week right?" He asks confused. "We weren't a thing then, now you're going to have to work for it." I smile stepping inside my house. "Well can I at least get a kiss?" I look him up and down thinking. I lean forward and so does he, I lightly kiss his cheek.
"Goodnight." I giggle stepping back inside.
"Fine be like that, keep this same energy Z... goodnight." He smiles before walking away. Tonight was definitely one for the books. I walk up to my room and kick my shoes off and collapse on to my bed. In this moment I totally forget that Cameron hates me. I hate that she hates the idea of me and Grayson so much that she cuts me off. It's not her call to make.
I grab the remote for my T.V. to turn it on but I'm stopped by the sound of my doorbell. He just couldn't stay away. I rush down the stairs opening the door to see Ethan... I try to speak up, but I say nothing. "Is it okay if I come in?"
"Uh, yeah sure." I smile stepping back letting him in. "Listen I just, I owe you an apology. I have no right to be mad at you. I'm sorry." I shake my head, no he doesn't. He owes me nothing. "Ethan I'm the one who owes you an apology. I don't know if you herd that night with Cam... but she told me Ethan." He looks at me clearly not knowing what I'm talking about.
"Told you what?" He asks. "How you guys felt about me. How she made you two keep quiet, and I know you think you owe me an apology but you don't. Ethan I'm so sorry, for treating you the way I did when you had feelings for me. I'm sorry I caused any problems for you and Grayson." He doesn't say anything for a minute he just stands there wide eyed, processing.
"Have." He says lowly...
"What?" I ask, he steps forward coming closer to me. "You said had, I have feelings for you Zhavia. Always have, always will." He says barley above a whisper caressing my cheek. I shake my head, he can't say stuff like this, not even if it's true. "Ethan you can't, Grayson and I-"
"I know, I know that you have to investigate what you think you feel for my brother. And you can act like you don't feel anything for me as long as you have to." All I can do is look into his eyes and see that he's being genuine, one hundred percent genuine. But it's wrong...
"You can't wait around Ethan..."
"Watch me, I know it Zhavia, and deep down you know it too. Someday, I'm gonna be with you." He says making my stomach flutter, I don't deserve him... he just doesn't see that yet.
"I care about Grayson, you have to except that Ethan. I do want you back, but as my friend." I whisper, he looks into my eyes, hearing my words but listening to my eyes. His thumb traces over my bottom lip sending shivers down my spine. Before I can comprehend what's appending next he leans in gently kissing me.
Making it last, kissing me like he doesn't want it to end. So when he pulls away I almost feel... disappointed. I take a breath in before backing away from him. I clear my throat, my voice quiet. "You shouldn't have don't that."
"Goodnight Zhavia."
