(Repeat Lost Souls By H.E.R)
Zhavia's Point Of Veiw
Monday
September 6, 2016
I get to my locker with my earbuds in, despite what people think of me I take school very seriously. I'm in all the advanced classes I could possibly be in. I take my whole future seriously, it's why guys aren't a big deal to me. There's bigger and better things to focus on, and it's name is Stanford.
I used to really want to go to Princeton, only because it's really close to home. I don't want to leave my dad. Either of the two collages would be amazing. I grab the books I need putting the ones I don't need back. When I close my locker I jump, frightened by Grayson.
Is he insane? "What the fuck? Do you not have anything better to do?" I ask squinting at him. "You definitely didn't want to kiss Ethan, he's not your type.." He says questioning it, like he's waiting for me to answer. "You don't know my type." I say offended at the fact that he think he knows what I want.
He just looks at me cocking his eyebrow up. "I think you just want to tell me weather or not you like my brother, or just like to piss me off." He says getting bold, why does he always talk as though I just have to do what he says. This is why I do the shit I do, he does not control me. "Why Grayson, because you like me?" I ask smirking, he just laughs like it's some sort of joke.
"You wish, I just don't want you hurting my brother." He's good with excuses I'll give him that. "Oh what a coward you are. Blaming it on Ethan, who knows maybe I do like him, or maybe I just enjoy pissing you off." I shrug walking off, getting away from him. I go straight to my first period. English, like most of my classes it's full of mainly seniors.
"Morning darling." My friend Olivia says making me sit down beside her. "Well if it isn't my favorite brit, morning." I giggle mocking her accent, she playfully rolls her eyes. "Will you be joining us at practice today?" Usually, most people skip cross-country practice they just use it as a free period, but I actually enjoy it.
Unlike most practices it's not an after school thing. "Of course, I don't plan on skipping. I have my mind or running and running on my mind." She looks at me with a 'look'. "What... what's that look for?" I ask crossing my arms.
"What of your boys, aren't they on your mind?" She asks making me scoff, I laugh at her. "I'm glad you could have a laugh, but I wasn't joking. I saw you with them this morning. What was all that..." She asks squinting at me.
"I'm not stupid I know what they want from me. I just find fun in using it against them, especially when they- it's not important. I have more important things to focus on. I'm slipping in English." I say genuinely worried I take my grades very seriously. "Oh my, what's your grade?" She asks worried for me.
"A ninety two, I'm dangerously close to a B, I can't have that happen." She looks at me unamused. "That's quite alright, in fact that's amazing. I'm surviving off a C, I don't see how you do it." She doesn't get it. "No it's not, I have to keep up my all a's if I plan any type of career." I say a little worried before she laughs at me.
"Calm down Z, C's do get degrees ya know. You're doing beyond amazing aren't you at the top of our class?" She's right, but she doesn't understand. "Yes, and I plan to stay there. C's may get degrees, but they don't get into Stanford." I sigh and she shakes her head to herself.
"You are so complexed."
__
I walk out of my class hearing the last bell ring, like clockwork Ethan walks up to me. We have the same last period and we usually walk to Cam's car together. "So whatever you said to Grayson made him more pissed at me, so thanks." He says making me smile. "That wasn't my intention, I tried to fix it." I say honestly, I just wanted to cause a conflict between them. Not rage war.
"Try harder, you just made so many issues for us. For what?" He asks ticking me off a little. I look at him raising a brow. "You're kidding me right?" He shakes his head no, actually clueless.
"This is rich, it's fine I got you back so it doesn't matter." I say as we make it to the parking lot. "So, you didn't kiss me because you like me, it really was just to cause problems between me and Gray? I can't belive you." He says sounding kind of annoyed. "You can't believe me? You know what I'm not even going to go in on the long list of reasons why that little fight after the kiss was well deserved." I say rolling my eyes.
"Trouble in paradise?" Grayson asks walking up to the other side of me making my eyes roll. "Shut up." Ethan says, I am so aggressivated, with not just him but of them. I am nothing but a competition for them. It's their thing they are competitive.
I'd be stupid and conceited if I believed that they actually 'cared' about me and I don't want them to. "Someone's aggy, don't tell me you caught her cheating on you... already? When will you learn, she's not yours."
"Yeah and who's am I? Yours? I don't belong to either of you." I say sternly making Grayson laugh. "Could have fooled me, you know being that your tongue was down my Ethan's throat." He says as we reach the car.
"What you want me to do? Even out the playing field and kiss you too?" I ask debating weather or not I should loose my shit right now. I only kissed Ethan because I wanted them to fight. I hate being objectified by them. Any other day I'd be glad to play along but today was ass.
Coach made me leave practice early for some shit that wasn't even my fault. I know Diamond doesn't like me but it was a low move to pick and argument in the middle of practice. She's just a bitch and I try my best to ignore her. "It would level out the playing field, since it is just a game to you." Ethan mumbles responding to me.
"You two are pigs you know that? I will never kiss either of you again. You two are pissed at each other when that's how I feel around you two all the time. I know about the things you two say about me-" I stop myself when I say too much, I'm not going to say anything else.
I told myself I'd let it go.
So I will.
