maddie sturniolo: the triplets younger sister♡

77 - just want her.

(45 mins later - maddie's pov)
we were coming back from dairy queen now, it was really fucking good. i had the oreo blizzard and now, i was stuffed. but despite how delicious the ice cream was, it wasn't enough to take my mind off how panicked macy's mom sounded on the phone.
was macy really going to be ok?
i had been messaging her several times throughout the whole car journey, and i was still trying to get we hold of her now. but i had to just come to the conclusion that she would message me again when she was ready.
fucking HELL. she's NEVER going to message me. what if she hates me?? i bet i've done something wrong.
i really miss her. i'm so worried about her. i don't know what the hell to do.. i don't want to lose my best friend again.
we pulled into the garage.
"home sweet home." chris said, getting out the car. i slowly got out, my eyes filling with tears again, and followed matt to the door. he unlocked the door and i kept my gaze down at the floor, but it's ok because i don't think anyone noticed.
as soon as the door opened i rushed inside and headed to me and matt's bedroom, and closed the door. feeling horrible.
i stood aimlessly by my side of the bed, my leg bouncing up and down, not knowing what to do, then i decided to check messages to see if there was a response.
nothing. once again.
tears began to trickle down my cheeks. i couldn't stop thinking of all the bad things that could've happened to poor macy.
i got into the bed and put my phone on the nightstand, covering my whole body with the blanket and started to tear up.
you probably think i'm a sensitive crybaby by this point in the story. and i don't blame you. to be honest, i am. but try going in my shoes for a day, and have your ex best friend try and kill you.. get beaten up and almost killed in school again... your best friend has probably gone missing.. then would you cry? of course you would.
i pulled the blanket tighter over the top of my head to muffle my sobs.
i cant have my brothers worrying about me. not anymore.

(matt's pov - downstairs)
we had just gotten inside. chris and nick slumped themselves down onto the couch and maddie had gone off to our bedroom.. i think.
i headed over to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water for myself, when i noticed something on the counter.
maddie's airpods. kids always leaving them around the house. you know, oneday she's gonna forget those airpods on a plane or some shit. then she'll learn her lesson.
i picked up the airpods and headed to my bedroom to give maddie her airpods, otherwise i'd forget later.
i stood outside the bedroom for one second, then gently knocked.
"maddie? are you okay?" i asked.
no response.
i turned the handle.

(maddie's pov)
i was crying so much that my head hurt. why was i constantly stuck in this dark cloud of sadness that i could never escape. why me. again.
i was so lost in my thoughts under the blanket i didn't properly take in the fact that someone was knocking on the door.
"maddie? are you okay?" they asked.
SHIT. act asleep.
i heard the door creak open, but remained nestled under the covers. i tried my fucking best to lie still and control my breathing, but i couldn't stop shaking. my body was wracked with sobs and i just gave up. i started crying even harder, my sobs audible now.
i felt the bed dip, and then he gently removed the blanket from my head, revealing my tear streaked horrific ugly stupid face.
it was matt. he looked heartbroken to see me like this.
"maddie" he frowned, gently running his hands through my hair trying to calm me down, but it didn't work. "shh, you're okay. i'm right here. deep breaths."
he gently removed my hand off my face with his other hand and intertwined my hand with his. i looked into his blue eyes, mine blurry with tears, as they continued to cascade down my cheeks. he gave me a sympathetic look, his eyes not leaving me.
i tried to speak, "it's not-"
but then i broke down even more. i removed my hand from matts hand and covered my face again.
i felt matt's hand support my shoulder as he gently helped me sit up, and embraced me in a warm hug and gently rubbed my back. i continued to cry, not being able to form words coherently.
"it's just- it's not ok, matt. it's not ok." i managed to say, in between jagged breaths.
how could it be okay?
he gently pulled away, moving my hair out of my face and wiping my tears.
"do you wanna talk about it?" he asked, patiently.
i looked around the room, panicking, my eyes darting to every corner, as i avoided eye contact with him. i didn't know what to say.
i shook my head, getting very hot. "i- i don't know.."
"that's okay. you don't need to rush. just take your time, kid. alright?" he gently smiled, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. i nodded, quickly grabbing my water bottle from the nightstand and taking a sip, trying desperately to calm down because this shit was embarrassing. but matt's calming presence made it a little easier.
"i want to tell you.. but like.. i don't know.. i don't really know how to explain it..."
"do you want to try?"
there was a brief silence, before i took a deep breath.
"macy's mom called earlier.."
he nodded, waiting for me to carry on.
"right.."
i sniffled, more tears streaming down my cheeks as my voice broke, "i'm sorry, matt. i can't-"
"hey, kid, take a deep breath- its okay. let's do some together" he said, chiming in as he took one of my hands in his again. "in.."
we both breathed in, my hands shaking as he gently traced it with his thumb.
"and out.."

we did this for a few minutes, before i finally had calmed down a bit and had managed to tell him about macy.
"what? like.. she's gone missing?"
i shook my head. "i don't know, matt.. i'm just really scared.."
matt took a moment, thinking.
"do mom and dad know about this?"
i shook my head again. "i don't think so.. but we're going back to- to boston in a few days anyways so i can just tell them then.."
matt looked at me. "i think it's better if we give them a call tonight and let them know.. because you're worried and it's important for mom and dad to know if there's any problems here." he explained. "when mom and dad let you come to LA with us, it was on one condition that we took good care of you and let them know if there was any problems. so, do you think it would be a good idea if we spoke to mom and dad later?"
i stared into space, my leg bouncing.
"i just want macy."
i didn't know what else to say, or do. i just wanted macy.
i had never experienced a heartbreak before, yet alone been in a relationship, but somehow i could tell that what i was feeling right now was 15 times worse than any break up you could ever imagine.