The Lyre: Harry Styles Fanfiction

Collarbone

(Kalila)

Young Lady?
He's never called me that before.

The other day, Zayn was madder than I'd ever seen him and it really scared me, but right now, he drove silently and it scared me more.

He was heading in the direction of his beach house, not looking at me, not yelling at me, not scolding or questioning me, nothing.

I cursed inside my aching head.
Once again, here I am.
Doing what I do.
Messing up.
Hurting him.

I've been so completely inappropriate, so disrespectful and feel just ashamed.
What is wrong with me?

If I were Zayn, I'd have broken up with me a long time ago, like all the other guys that did before him.

It's nerve racking to be with me, I know that.
As much as I never want to cause problems, I always wind up being one to any guy I'm with.

Too many times to count, I disappear without telling anyone where I go or when I'll be back.

Or get bored and pick a fight.
Or flirt with another man and don't even realize I'm doing it at the time.
Or suddenly I decide that we aren't "meant to be" and leave, only to come back a week later, after changing my mind, for the hundredth time.

I was a dream, but with nightmares constantly interrupting it.

One would chase their fantasy of me until they realized that I was no "happily ever after".
I was a Greek tragedy.

Who could stay with a woman like that?
I didn't blame them.

I just wasn't made that way, to be in a committed relationship, to be responsible for a man's heart.

I stopped dating, stopped the relationships, altogether.
I wasn't capable of it.

At least all of that is what I believed before I met Zayn.

Zayn asked me out, but I said no.
He'd show up at places I'd go, always charming, always gorgeous, always determined to get a date.

He began to break down my wall, I spent more time with him and he'd ask me why I wouldn't go out with him.
I told him it was hopeless.

I told him about my exes, how they loved me, but I'd always mess it up, it would all just turn into pain in the end. Why go through that again and again?

Zayn shook his head at my words.
"Those men don't know what really loving a woman is, Kaly".
He liked to call me that for short.

Zayn looked intently into my eyes, "Real, true love of a woman is staying with her, forgiving her, loving her through it all".

Time went on and we got to where we saw each other every day.
Zayn spoiled me, gave me anything and everything he thought would make me happy.

When I'd disappear for a week or two, he didn't question me when I got back. When I found myself drawn to another man for a moment, Zayn never worried. When I picked a fight with him, he stayed calm and talked me down.

He understood me even when I didn't understand myself.

I said yes when he asked me to marry him a month ago. I said yes when he asked me to stay at his beach house for the summer.

I got here just two days ago and look what's already happened.

I looked over at Zayn, his eyes locked on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel tight, driving way past the speed limit.
His silence kept making me scared.
Have I finally broken him?

"Zay-"
"What are you wearing?", he cut me off. He knew Gwen's t-shirt and skirt weren't mine.
I fidgeted, embarrassed, not wanting to tell him, but was eager to talk about anything except Harry.

"I...met this girl last night and we were drinking....", I said and he glanced over at me, "She liked my clothes and she...well, no, I-"
"You traded clothes", he said with zero emotion.

"Yeah. Yeah, we were just being stupid", I said quickly.
"And where did you exchange clothes?", he asked, his voice now laced with anger and he looked me in the eye, "I know you, Kaly. You're all about the rush of the moment", he inhaled deeply and exhaled.

"Tell me where you were when you took off your clothes", he said, evenly.
"Outside", I answered him.
"You were outside", Zayn stated as he pulled into his driveway.

He jammed his breaks, slammed the car into park, turned his whole body to face me and looked me in the eye.
"This wasn't supposed to happen", he looked me in the eye, then away, staring off into space, smiling an odd smile.

His eyes went back to mine and his smile dropped into a frown.
"I didn't think this could happen", he said.

I've heard these words before.

Men stop having the ability to love me. I foolishly thought it'd be different with Zayn, but, no, I pushed him too far,
too.

I fiddled with the fringe on my purse. I wanted to scream "I'm sorry". I wanted him to hold me, the one man who loved me more than any man ever has, as I sit here, yet again, guilty. Not deserving an ounce of his love.

Zayn opened my car door.
I looked up at him, watching him, still being a gentleman even after I've acted far from ladylike.

I grabbed my purse and shoes from the floorboard and got out of the car, then followed Zayn into the house. I walked through the front door and he closed it after me.

He walked past me and blocked me from walking any further, standing in front of me.

Not saying a word, Zayn looked down at my t-shirt, then up to my eyes.

He suddenly gripped the neck of my shirt roughly with both hands and I dropped my things as he ripped it in half.

I gasped as he pulled the fabric off of my breasts and arms.

I stood there wide-eyed, my arms flew up and crossed over my chest, I looked
at Zayn in fear and confusion.

He looked down at my skirt and roughly jerked it down off of me, leaving me standing there, only in my panties.
"ZAYN!!", I screamed.

I stood there in shock, now covering my mouth with both of my hands.
I stared at him, my eyes huge, watching his.

His eyes went to my collarbone and they narrowed.
I took a step back, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.