After Forever

Chapter 9

Hardin

As I turn back around and look off the balcony as she walks away. I can't help but wish my water was a drink .

I think overall the fact that she agreed to meet is  good. I think we both need it and have gone a long time without this closure.

I don't know how I should approach it. I want to tell her everything and the truth but the truth is a lot. And maybe I shouldn't tell her. Maybe I should lie and say there was someone else and make her hate me and let her move on hating me and that be it. After all I know she never read the letter so that could be true for all she knows.

All I know is I have had a long time to figure it out and the moment is fast approaching and I don't know what to do.

Dakota comes up to me when I walk inside and asks if I am having a good time. I reply "yes everything is amazing, I'm really happy for you guys" she then says "when is it going to be your turn?" I reply "ehhh, I don't know, I guess I am just waiting for the right one"

Who knows that might actually be true at this point. I have an amazing life or had I'm not letting myself go there yet, I really would like someone to spend my life with and have kids if I can but I still don't know if how my life is now if that would be fair to whoever I'm with.

I manage to find a way to have a good time until the end of the reception and some how avoid Tessa and Easton the whole time.

As tired as I am after the past few days I have nothing but adrenaline running through me thinking about having Tessa come to my room in less than an hour.

I find my way to Landon before I go back upstairs to the room to congratulate him one last time and tell him I'm calling it a night. He thanks me for coming in his slightly drunken stupor. I tell him "now go find your wife" and he replies "you too".

Hmm..the irony in that. I thought I had for a while there. I really thought it could have been with Tess and I. But I also thought that person I was could make a girl like her happy and that is such a pathetic thought at this point.

It's 11:38pm and I make it to the room. I try to just chill and turn the tv on and relax a little bit, but the first show that comes on is the Kardashian's. I forgot how terrible American television is. So I quickly turn the tv off. I grab my laptop and decide to check my emails. I told my manager not to call me while I'm gone. But he did email and sent me the article printed in London about my arrest in America. I decide I am not worrying about that right now. Even though he sounds pissed and wants me to call him.

I get out of my tux and hop in the shower. I actually feel for a second a bit relaxed. I get out throw on some athletic lounge pants and one of my old ramones T-shirt's. Probably a little cruel of me seeing as how I know that was Tess's favorite shirt of mine.