After Forever

Chapter 31

Waking up the next morning. I realize immediately how badly I fucked up. I threw away 4 and a half years of sobriety for nothing. 

I really think about it and there was really no reason for me to drink last night. Yea, so things haven't exactly been ideal since I have been back, but that's life.

Why was I so okay with taking that drink last night.

And why is that the first thing I want to do this morning. (Even though it's well into the afternoon at this point.)

I get out of bed and open my suitcase and grab the bottle. I unscrew the cap, and take a swig. Again, feeling that incredible burn. I feel like I have no desire in me to stop. I'd say I downed half of the half that was left, before I hear a knock.

"Hardin..Karen and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to lunch with us, Landon and Dakota will be joining us before they leave for their honeymoon." ken yells through the door.

I feel like I should probably say no, given how I woke myself up this morning, but I agree to go.

I get myself ready, brush my teeth, load up on the cologne and hope no one notices I chugged a quarter bottle of whiskey for breakfast.

I actually don't know how well I am at hiding it. Given when I was an addict I did not have one care in the world, so i was never trying to hide it.

I just am hoping I am good at it.

Luckily Ken drives, and I know I am very quiet on the ride to lunch. But, I don't think they think anything of it. I finally check my phone and realize Tessa had texted me last night.

I decide to slide my phone back into my pocket and hold off on texting her back. 

And in that moment I realized there is a reason I overslept the stream and asking her to come to London with me.

I saw it last night she has had a life here for the past 5 years, and is getting married this summer. And that's exactly what she wanted. She doesn't deserve me coming back here and ruining that. I am going to stay away until I hopefully can leave, and this time for good. 

We arrive at lunch and I notice the restaurant has a bar, and I already felt my buzz wearing off in the car. I let everyone else get seated and excuse myself as if I am going to go to the bathroom. I make sure the bar isn't in eye shot of the table and I order a double shot of whiskey neat. 

I chug it down. and throw the cash down all in what seems like the same second. 

When I get to the table Landon and Dakota are going on and on about how perfect they thought there wedding was. 

"Hardin I scheduled us to meet with your lawyer tomorrow afternoon." Ken out of the blue says.

"Ok....why would you bring that up now?" I reply clearly annoyed.

Ken clearly fumbling on his words..."Uh...i don't know I didn't think it would be a big deal."

"No one else here needs to know my business." I say raising my voice. 

You can see the shift on everyone's faces, and that same look that most of them used to get around me has returned. 

"Look Hardin, no need to get angry, we will get it all taken care of." Ken says calmly.

"Yea, Hardin it will be all good, I'm surprised Zed can't just drop the charges now anyways." says Landon.

I shift in my seat, and try to stay cool. But I am annoyed that a lunch has turned into talking about me and my fuck up.

"I'm going to go." I simply state as I get up and leave the table.

"Hardin...Hardin." yells Ken.

I don't really know where I am going to go especially since I didn't drive. But all I know is this lunch was not where I wanted to be right now.

I just start walking and realize we are really close to Vance's.

I decide what the heck now is a good time as ever to confront him about never giving Tessa the note.