After Forever

Chapter 46

Tessa

I'm laying here in bed and I have been tossing and turning for the past hour. It's only 11PM and so it's not that late. I had 2 glasses of wine before bed hoping that would help me sleep. Truth be told since Hardin came back I feel like I haven't slept. So tonight I thought alcohol might be the magic I needed. And no such luck. I get up and go out to the kitchen and pour myself another glass. Which sounds pathetic it really does but I think what I do next is even more pathetic.

"Hey" I text Hardin yes just hey.

I see the three little dots go right away as if he is typing and then nothing.

"Are you ignoring me?" I text again.

After 10 minutes I am about to text him again and he  texts back "no."

No? Really that's all he is going to say.

"Can I see you?" I text.

"Idk can you" he replies.

"Yes, where can I meet you?" I ask.

"I am at Ken's you can come here no one is home" he replies.

I realize very quickly I probably shouldn't drive so I get an Uber. Easton is a very heavy sleeper and is out for the night.

When I get to Ken's I first go to the front door and no answer. I text Hardin "hey I'm here where are you?"

I just see the garage open and there he is.

"Hey." Is all I say...again.

"What's up?" He responds still looking down fixing something under the hood of his car.

I missed this car. I missed him in this car. I missed us being together in his car. I just miss it all.

" you can sit on that bench if you want" he says.

"Are we staying out here?" I ask.

"You are the one who wanted to meet and I am trying to get this car running again so I can use it." He replies.

Ugh why is he being such a dick.

"Okay." I simply reply not knowing what else to say in the moment.

A few minutes pass by and he still isn't saying anything.

Just as I am about to speak he says "why are you here Tessa?" Still not looking at me and working on his car.

That is a good question and I don't know I just had to see him. I guess just like before I can't stay away.

"Do you not want me to be here?" I reply.

He finally puts the hood down and looks at me and says.. " I am just wondering why you are here when you have a fiancé at home."

"I don't know Hardin I feel like you got to say your peace and I never did and I want that closure." I say surprising myself.

"So say your peace" he says sort of brushing me off.

I want him to know how bad he hurt me when he left. How he broke me.

"I don't think you realize what you did to me when you left the way you did." I say.

"It all seemed to work out just fine for you." He says.

"That's not the point Hardin. You let me walk into an apartment expecting you to be there and any and every trace of you was gone. I sobbed on the floor for hours. I felt like my heart was no longer a part of my body it absolutely killed me." I said.

"I don't know what you want me to say Tessa." He replies and doesn't seem to care one bit about what I am saying.

"I guess nothing Hardin. I don't know why I came here." I say.

" I don't know either." He replies.

I am an idiot. I came to see my ex at midnight to tell him how bad he hurt me 5 years ago while I am engaged to someone else and he could care less.

Now I am really wishing I drove here because then I could just leave instead I have to wait for this Uber to get here.

I decide to go sit on the front porch and wait.

"I'm sorry" he says as he sits down next to me.

"For what Hardin" I reply.

"Well you are obviously annoyed with me." He says.

"I can't force you to care." I say.

"I care Tessa but you have a fiancé and a life here. As soon as this thing is over at the end of the week I'm gone and this time I'm not coming back." He says.

"What if a part of me still thinks it's supposed to be you and me?" I say and this must be the alcohol talking now.

"It's not Tessa it's just not." He says without any hesitation.

"Why are you being so cold towards me?" I ask with a tear running down my face.

He gently runs his hand across my cheek which doesn't make sense given how he's been all night towards me. He gently kisses me on the forehead and I get a glimpse of the Hardin I met the night of Landon's wedding.

"Tess, you have a whole life you have to live and you have to live it without me." He says.

For the first time all night I actually see some emotion out of him and I just see sadness in his eyes.

My Uber pulls up and I feel like there is so much more I want to say but at this point I don't think it even matters.