Gone (S.R.)

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I had just gotten a call from Fury. And every worst fear came true.

I sat in silence for 15 minutes wondering what I was going to do. How I was going to act. How life was going. How was I going to tell the kids?

I had to pick them up from school in an hour. And I still didn't know what to say. I just knew I had to act normal until we got home. Then I could tell them everything that I knew.

.

I hopped in my Suburban ready to pick up Hannah and James. I slowly drove to the high school first to pick up Hannah, our oldest and a sophomore, and James our youngest and a sixth-grader. I pulled up in front of the school and waited a short 5 minutes before Hannah hopped in the front seat and smiled up at me. "Hey mom!" she said, her long caramel hair following her head movements.

"Hi, love." I told her trying to sound normal. She instantly noticed something was wrong.

"Is everything okay mom?" She asked again through her glasses, with a concerned look.

"We'll talk about it when we get home, okay Han?" I didn't want to lie. She seemed took aback.

"O-okay." She said and looked down as disappointment spread across her face. I could tell every possible terrible idea was running through her mind. The worst part was, her worst fear was true.

We went and picked up James, who as well noticed something was wrong. He stayed silent though. We finally pulled up to our 4 bedroom home and all got out to go inside. "Can we have a quick talk guys?" I asked and they both nodded. We sat at our dining room table, the place we have meals every night. The 4 of us.

"Um-" I began tears threatening to spill. I never wanted to cry in front of our children.

"It's okay mom." Hannah said and put her hand on mine and James did the same. Then tears began.

"You-you're father-" Hannah's face went blank. "He-um went missing. On his mission. They've been checking for the last 48 hours to find him and have found nothing. They've reported him dead."

"You're lying," Hannah said. I shook my head, "This is a joke, right?" She asked. I shook my head again, "Right mom?" This time I looked at her in the eyes and shook my head. She froze. For a minute she sat there and stared. Then the tears and shaking began. She was having a panic attack. James burst out into tears and ran to what I assumed to be his room.

"Hey, Hannah, love?" I asked her, "I need you to take deep breaths okay?" She shook her head.

"No-" she managed to mumble. Then she was off to, running to her room.

.

"Han, honey?" I asked her from outside her room door, "What do you want for dinner?" I asked her about an hour later. It took her a minute.

"Nothing." She said.

"Okay." I said. I wasn't going to bother her when she was feeling this way. So I went to James.

"James?" I knocked on his door, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Sp-spaghetti." I could hear him, still crying.

"Can I come in sweetie?"

"Ye-yeah m-mom." I did. He was curled up on his bed just drenched in tears. I sat next to him and pulled him close. Rocking him. I did so for about half an hour before he was in a position to come downstairs and help me with dinner.

As we worked on our pasta, I heard the doorbell go off. I went to the front to find Bucky. So of course, I let him in. "Hey, Buck." I said and gave as big of a smile as I could manage.

He immediatly engulfed me in a hug. "I'm sorry." he said as we hugged. Surprisingly Bucky wasn't on this mission with Steve. It was a solo mission.

Once Bucky let go I led him in, even though he had been in our house so many timed before.

"Uncle Buck!" James said and went to hug him.

"Hey, Champ." Bucky said and hugged his small form back. James finally let go and went back to the kitchen. "Where's Hannah?" Buck asked.

"Her room," I sighed, "She's refusing to come out or talk to me. Or anybody for that matter."

He sighed back, "Let me talk to her."

He ran upstairs and wasn't back down for another hour. By that time dinner was ready. "We talked," Bucky said and came to the dinner table.

"How is she?" I asked eagerly, my Mama Bear coming out in me.

"Not good," He sighed, "Better I hope now that I talked to her." I nodded. James started softly crying again. "Come here bud." Bucky said and got up to give him another hug. Bucky and James were very close. They had quite the bonding which was pretty cute.

.

That night Buck went back to his apartment, and both the kids went to bed early. I went to an empty bed alone, just me. That's where I let it all out. I just began crying. Letting all the feelings, love, memories, everything our in drops of salty water onto our light gray bed sheets.

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