The Choices We Make ∆ Harry Potter Sister

Chapter 5.10

"I vill always fight by your side, Ellie, but this-"

Ellie rolled her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Any more eye rolls, and her eye muscles would go into spasm. To be fair, Xenyk's troubled mind was not uncalled for, but that did not deem it necessary.

"Don't you trust me?"

"You know the answer to that question," he told her sharply, though not unkindly. With a heavy sigh, he added, "This is not something that your brother vill take lightly. Not even your godfathers."

"It's no worse than what I had done," mumbled Ellie to the dark alley. Even in the darkness of Knockturn Alley, she could still see the lies behind her words as clearly as crystal. She did not know why she even tried, Xenyk could smell her lies like a hound to blood, and he never let her go with it.

"Listen to me. I promised Sirius I'll keep you safe," said Xenyk.

His eyes, dark as a winter night, bore deep into her emerald green ones, stripping her naked until there was nothing left of her but her very soul. She held back a shudder. There was a storm raging behind them, fueling his words, yet she wasn't scared of it. She was inside the eye of that storm, standing safely and soundly, and in there she could see perfectly what he had not laid bare. She could read the words written inside that rage, that he would still keep her safe, with or without a promise to her godfather.

Just this one last moment, she promised herself, one last moment to let her guard down and enjoy the drama of being a sixteen years old girl. One last time before she ripped the gates of hell open because she knew she would never be the same after that. She looped her hands around his midriff, burying her face into his chest, listening to the soft, steady beat of his heart.

As her own heart sync in beat, she whispered to his chest, "You know I can keep myself safe on my own."

"You can," said Xenyk flatly even as his own arms circled around her, pulling her tighter into him, "But that doesn't mean you vill. I'm here to make sure that you are actually safe."

Ellie pulled away slightly from his embrace and tiptoed to kiss his cheek. "Aren't you a sweet little thing?"

"Eleanor," scolded Xenyk, completely unfazed with her little gesture.

She let out a sigh, and rested her forehead on his chest once more. She relished the feeling of being cocoon inside his warm embrace, her own home wherever she was. She tried to print every single curve of him, trace of him into her memory, knowing she would rely on them.

"I have to do something, Nikki."

"You have done plenty," said Xenyk as he kissed her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ear, his hand resting at the side of her face, fitting comfortably like a warm blanket in a winter night.

She did not need to look into his mind to know the gears running in his head, buzzing like a busy worker bee at spring time. His eyes gave them away. It was a fascinating thing, really, to be able to catch a glance into someone's mind if you only know where to look. Perhaps it was unintentional for Xenyk to gave her that window, since he usually kept his face aloof, as if he only had half of his mind on the present, the other half was somewhere in a land no man could ever reach. Either way, Ellie relished on the fact that she caught a glimpse.

Over the past few weeks, they had been travelling all across Northern Europe, visiting Xenyk's old friends. Most of the news they received were not very heart-lightening, but not unexpected. The Durmstrang students and alumni alike were more than excited to put their skill on the Dark Arts to use, but they were scattered on both sides of the war. None were a part of the order, since apparently not even Dumbledore dared to risk the help unpredictable young wizards. Ellie simply refused to think it was because the former headmaster's lack of connection, since his was as widespread as a cobweb.

Those who joined the Dark Lord were spread all across the continent, spreading dread like a plague upon the muggleborns, feasting on their fear and blood. It was, in Xenyk's own words, paranoia came to life. Durmstrang was an excellent school to hone a wizard's Dark Arts skill, how to grace a person with a quick end or how to perform a slow and torturous death. They had listed the names of who had joined each side of the war, marked those who were already dead, hunted down those who needed to be hunted, and warned those who needed to be warned.

It was by far the bloodiest, filthiest weeks Ellie had experienced in her short sixteen years. She was only glad her clothes were mostly dark coloured, or the stain won't ever come off, not even with a dozen spell. Still, even without the stain on her clothes, the curses she casted on her victims were still ringing in her ears. Their lifeless eyes haunted her no matter how far she had travelled. Their last breath still tingled on the back of her neck. She was reminded of what Xenyk had told her a million months ago. With every death she took, she felt herself ever closer to Death itself. It did not matter that she was not exchanging those lives, there was a certain unnaturalness in the act of taking someone's life away, even if she convinced herself that it was for a good cause.

After the first fortnight, Xenyk had to hold her tight every night, reminding her that she was not running from the souls she had delivered to Death's door, that the blood of her enemies had been washed down the drain. She often found herself in the morning with dried saline tracks on her cheeks, her fingers slightly cramped and curled, her teeth hurting from how hard she held her jaws tight. She often wondered how he did it, sleep soundly through the night without feeling like he was being dragged into a bottomless sea. He told her that Death was an old friend of his.

She took a deep breath, and reluctantly slipped out of his warm cocoon. She squeezed his hand once, and took three steps away from him. She closed her eyes, trying to leash her fear, and steel her nerves. She then opened her eyes and turned around to find nothing but an empty alley. He had completely melted into the shadows. If she didn't know any better, she would think that he had left her completely alone. Ellie took another breath, to steady the thunder inside her chest - because Xenyk was right, of course, this was bigger than the things she had done - and tightened her grip on her wand.

With her head held high, she whispered, as softly as the wind in spring time, "Voldemort."