crimson veil of the moon

fallen for pain

"hua!! hua!!! HUA!!" 

"what the actual fuck He Xuan!!" 

"what the hell are you doing in this room? i thought you weren't ever going to step foot  in here." 

"i don't know something lead me here." Hua Cheng replied as he tried to maintain his posture. 

"look i'm sorry for today." He Xuan's apologetic tone was enough to put a smile on Hua Cheng's face. 

"Since when were you the type to say sorry?" 

"since today." 

"now stop with the emo shit, let's eat something." 

"listen you don't have to worry about the video clip, i made sure it's gone from everywhere you should tell that boy that he doesn't have to worry about it anymore." Hua Cheng was shook at the gesture by the other male. 

"Thanks man, i think i should let him know that he doesn't have to worry anymore." 

"go on." 

Hua Cheng immediately rushed out to meet Xie Lian, he knew it would trouble him and he never ever wishes for him to ever feel troubled by such trivial matters. He called Xie Lian. 

unknown number calling...

Xie Lian was alone sitting at that very bench he visited that day before school, something felt right about it, then he found his phone ringing, he was a bit puzzled as to he never received calls from anyone other than his parents but eventually picked it. 

"Hello?" 

"Xie Lian."  Xie Lian immediately knew it was Hua Cheng but how did he get his number. 

"you. How did you did my number?" 

"Forget about that tell me where are you right now?" 

"and why should i do that?" 

"you'll never not be stubborn, don't you worry about i'll find you even if you are in hell." 

"turn around."

Xie Lian did as he was told, he instantly turned back and there he was Hua Cheng gazing softly at him.

"Wha-the hell? How did you find me? You fucking stalker." Hua Cheng instantly laughed at the remark, it was the first time Xie Lian had heard Hua Cheng laugh, it felt so pure to him, it made his heart beat for the first time. 

"I told you i will always find you." Xie Lian felt blood rushing to his cheeks. 

"why the fuck are you here anyways? you have already caused me enough trouble as it is, enjoy your sight seeing here i'll be taking my leave." But just before Xie Lian could make even a single step forward, Hua Cheng held his wrist not willing to let go, his crimson eyes piercing right through his facade. 

"The video of us has been permanently deleted, no one would ever be able to find it, it is gone for good you won't ever have to worry about it."

"Who are you? For me to put trust in you, what if you were the one to record us? Who knows Huh? Rich guys like you are capable of anything." this remark pained Hua Cheng, to find his lover in such a state where he is unable to put his trust in him it pained him.

"Xie Lian i would never do anything to hurt you." Xie Lian's eyes widened at the reply, he felt such certainty, he felt he was saying the truth but he won't make mistakes anymore. 

"whatever, do whatever you'd like just don't associate yourself with me." Xie Lian managed to undo himself from the grip of the other male. He turned his back towards Hua Cheng and walked away but then,

"i like you."

Xie Lian instantly stopped in his tracks, he couldn't process what the other male said to him, did he really say it or was he just hallucinating? 

"w-what did you just say?" Xie Lian asked but he dare not face Hua Cheng. 

"i said i like you." 

"why?" Xie Lian asked as he turned back and faced the other male. 

"because it's you." 

"what does that mean? How do you know if it's me?" 

"Which means i don't care about others, i never will, but i will always care about you." 

"why? how do you like someone who resists care or love?" this question struck Hua Cheng like lightening because the same question was asked by Xie Lian in those few poetries he wrote for Hua Cheng, this was Xie Lian he just didn't remember anything and that was an immense sense of relief to Hua Cheng, he was right in the end.

"you don't resist love Xie Lian, you make yourself believe that you do, you run away from love because you are afraid of getting hurt, the pain scares you, love doesn't scare you." 

"love is a prerequisite to understand pain. You feel happiness just so you can feel the sadness, you feel love just to feel hate, you feel beautiful emotions just to understand destructive emotions. I don't fear pain, i fear love." 

"Xie Lian the way you think is wrong, love and hate, happiness and sadness, these are separate emotions one doesn't lead to other, what's stopping you from loving someone else?" 

"Ah- it's raining, always at the right time." Xie Lian said as he faced upwards, his face getting drenched by the rain. While his heart rains, the skies bleed. Hua Cheng recalls the night where he had witnessed Xie Lian this hopeless, nothing had changed, Xie Lian is the same as he was centuries ago ,only Hua Cheng can hope to not repeat the same from centuries ago.

He rushed towards his lover, held his face and embraced him with a deep kiss, Hua Cheng knew his love was more powerful than any resistance. Shockingly Xie Lian returned the kiss, maybe the desperation to feel anything or something would maybe make him feel more of a human, he always lived in contradiction to himself, quite evidently. Soon Hua Cheng broke the kiss. 

"Xie Lian give me one chance, i will show you that love isn't a fucking prerequisite to pain, it's not a bloody prerequisite to anything but to happiness. Just fucking allow yourself to hear others and listen to them for once!!" 

"alright, i'll give you one week until the dance competition gets over, let's see what changes, i don't like you and i never will but because you are nagging me so much i will comply, but i have one condition- 

If i don't like by the end of the week, you will leave me alone for the rest of this lifetime, never approach me again ever." 

"deal." Hua Cheng had impulsively complied to his condition but who knew the one to accept defeat in the end would be Hua Cheng.