crimson veil of the moon

unveil: no devotion

"look i don't understand any of this, i don't get it, one moment i probably got hit by a car and lost San Lang and now i'm here." 

"W-what did you just say?" 

"what?" 

"San Lang? How do you know him?" 

"Ah well he's my classmate and was my boyfriend." 

Shockingly this other Me started to shed tears as if i had told him something he had longed to hear. 

"Are you alright?" 

"Tell me did he show you a painting of you that he painted himself?" 

"How do you know that?" 

"did you feel comfort in his arms as if you'd already felt it? Did you feel the nostalgia as if you'd been somewhere before with him?" 

"W-who are you? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" 

"it really is him, he did return." 

"Xie Lian hold my hand, there is something you need to remember otherwise we would only repeat the past." 

"I WON'T." 

"Xie Lian trust me, it's going to be alright, i told you I am You, i won't hurt myself anymore. When you hold my hand do not worry you would be seeing something from the past, you won't be able move or talk, you can only watch and by the time we return back we would be part of the same soul, the fragment would return back to me." 

And so i did, I held his hand, and i was instantly taken back to somewhere.

1000 years back

The day Hua Cheng died. 

(Past Xie Lian's POV) 

"Lian open the door!!!!! All of us are worried about you." 

I was lying on the floor, tears rushing out from my eyes i was helpless, i was motionless, i was truly empty. He left me, he finally left, the last time he did i believed he would return and he did but this time I don't feel anything. 800 years ago when i had lost my friends, my parents, my kingdom everything fell apart ,everything i knew ever since i was a child fell apart into blood bathed petals. But none of it compares to the pain ,the numbness i feel now. 

I would do anything to kill myself right now but i don't even feel like i am living ,how do you even kill the dead? I am already dead without him.

"how could you leave me again san lang? how could you? you know it don't you? i can't live without you i can't and you still do, how selfish are you? And what did you say to me? we will meet again? How do I trust you? How can i trust someone as selfish as you, you only thought about yourself, sacrificing yourself for who? someone who mistakenly saved you when you fell just once and you sacrificed yourself again and again and again to protect me, who am I to be saved by you? I wanted to protect you ,everything i did was to protect you, only to protect you goddamit!! and you leave me in the end? Who did i do this for? for whom? a selfish man who doesn't realize he has someone who wouldn't survive a single breath without him, i hate you Hua Cheng, i truly despise you, I WISH WE HAD NEVER MET!!!" 

"i will destroy my memories of you, i will destroy every single one of them, i will destroy myself, i want you to know how it feels to be left behind!!!" 

I instantly drew a distance shortening array and entered the paradise manor, any heavenly official could feel the resent and hate my aura was displaying but at that moment i would destroy any memory of him.