crimson veil of the moon

pretense-II

Everything has changed, the way things used to be have changed maybe not the things but the way I perceive them has changed. I am digging my own grave with the way I'm changing, if I fall for him my life will be over. Change is inevitable yet it pains me, it strikes me with unimaginable sadness. What do I feel for him? Do I even feel anything for myself? How can I process that someone can like "me" if I don't consider i exist in the first place, who does he really like anyways? A shadow? A ghost? A decaying soul? All these thoughts consumed my sleep last night yet I felt comfort. Since when did I feel comfortable with my thoughts? I do not know.

The next morning would have been the same but it changed.

"LIAN WAKE UP ONE OF YOUR FRIEND'S IS HERE TO PICK YOU UP!!!"

I was half asleep half conscious but god didn't that wake me the fuck up. Which friend ffs? Do I have friends?

I ran downstairs like I never had before. And there he was outside my place again. I almost forgot that he was my boyfriend now of course he's gonna pick me up, god I got myself trapped in some deep shit.

"YOU!! What the hell are you doing here?!"
"Well good morning to you too."
"You know you can't be here!!"
"Why darling?" And he winked at me while saying such embarrassing shit. He is unbelievable, I practically slapped my face with both my palms.

"Can you not say such embarrassing shit with a straight face?"
"I will my darling boyfriend."
"OKAY THIS IS GETTING TOO MUCH!! YOU DON'T UTTER A SINGLE WORD ANYMORE AND I'LL BE BACK WITHIN 5 MINUTES, DO.NOT.ENTER.MY.PLACE." And I ran away and got dressed, I didn't wanna take any chances what if he meets mom? He is unpredictable and I don't want to mess up my morning.

"MOM I'M LEAVING!!!!" And just like that I entered his car and I took a sigh of relief, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at my own behaviour I was someone else completely different.

"Chill Xie Lian, I'm not gonna enter your place without your permission, I'm not an asshole you know?"
"Yeah I don't trust you, get moving pretty boy." Hua Cheng wasn't able to register that remark, he turned his handsome face towards me, his lips turning into a smirk.

"Pretty Boy? Really. That's the best you could come up with?" I could feel my face burning, he was too close.

"C-can we leave now? We're getting late for school."
"We are but not for school, I'm taking you somewhere ." Hua Cheng replies.
"W-what WAIT WHAT???"
"Just keep quiet and enjoy the drive." Hua Cheng winks at me.
"ISTFG HUA CHENG I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!"
"go ahead by all means, I belong to you."

THIS MAN HE IS SUCH A TEASE, MY BLOOD IS BOILING, IF I HAD TO GO OUT I COULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE ANYONE ELSE BUT I CHOSE HIM?? IM SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.

The entire drive I didn't know where the fuck this man was taking me, looking at it now I don't know anything about him, just that he is too handsome , a fucking flirt, I bet he's a fuck boy, I can bet my life on it.

But somehow I enjoyed having a day off, just being away from this typical nonsensical routine, from the rats, it felt quite relaxing.

"Alright I think it's going to be a long drive and I don't want it to be boring, let's ask each other questions since we are going on a possible 'DaTe' let's at least get to know each other better." I said that, can you believe it? I can't. I could see he was a bit taken back by my offer but he didn't rebel.

"I bet you're curious about me go on ask Mr.Xie."
"And how do you come to that conclusion?"I faced at him angrily.
"I just know."
"Whatever, let's begin with introductions, introduce yourself."
"Lian seriously? Introduce myself? I thought we were past that."
"First of all don't call me Lian and second of all we are not practically dating we're doing this because you were nagging me constantly."
"Alright alright, well I am Hua Cheng, 16 years old, the eldest son of Cheng Industries, i live alone, I have one best friend and I'm passionate about art."
"What about relationships?"
"I thought I was taken." Again with the flirting, my face is gonna become a beet root at this point.
"I-I meant your previous relationships idiot!!"
"I haven't ever dated anyone." And that hit me like a truck, he hadn't dated anyone? That's bullshit he must be lying, a man as handsome as him as rich as him, he is great boyfriend material to say the least.