Operation Falling | Operation Series Book 1

Chapter 4

Recognising isn't at all like seeing; the two often don't even agree.

Sten Nadolny

Chapter Four

MICHAEL

The bell for lunch rings and Mr. Ali finally leaves the class. I'm already dozing off during his long speech on how we should be reading hard in preparation for our mock exams, JAMB and WAEC exams. I faintly recollect him listing out points on what we should be doing now as hardworking students but I was really not interested.

The ringing of the bell does well to wake me up and the first thing I notice when I do is the total silence in the class.

At first, I thought they were all also exhausted because of the hours our class teacher had spent in explaining things to us, but now that I'm watching them closely, they look more like they are brooding than tired.

Peter is staring into space, his face unreadable as usual while Femi and Wole both look lost in thought, although it is clear what they are thinking.

"Guys, are we still on this issue?" I ask when I can bear the silence no longer.

"Yeah, we are." Femi replies, a bit of an edge to his voice. "I'm not having a drug addict as a friend." He insists.

"I haven't even started taking the drugs." I defend weakly.

"But you're considering it." Wole replies and I let out a huge sigh, not knowing what else to say.

"He won't be considering it anymore, knowing his friendship with us is at stake." Peter declares and all of us turn to look at him.

Those are the first words he uttered concerning the issue and he had just indirectly asked me to choose between my friends and the drugs.

The others are looking at me expectantly now, waiting for my response and I know what they want to hear.

'Fine, I choose you guys.'

Saying those words would put an end to the matter once and for all and the whole issue will be forgotten, like I had never spoken about it.

But the truth is even when they had outrightly rejected the idea, I still can't help considering the drugs, and no amount of explaining to them can make them understand since they aren't the ones in my shoes.

They aren't the one who is scared to fall asleep at night because of what he knows he'll see as soon as he closes his eyes.

They aren't the one who after falling asleep wakes up with a rapid heartbeat and a body covered with sweat.

They aren't the one who longs for the embrace of a mother that is no longer there when the fear from the nightmare is finally gone.

How then would they understand why I'm so desperately in need of something to get my mind off everything, to make me forget?

"Is it that hard?" Femi asks and I raise my head to look at him. The look of hurt and disappointment on his face is evident and the fact that I had caused it pains me more than I would have ever thought.

"Is it that hard to choose friends who have been with you for more than three years over drugs that could ruin your life?" He adds, looking distraught.

"Of course not." I quickly respond. "You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"It definitely doesn't seem like that when you were battling internally with yourself just now." Peter mentions calmly and I feel the urge to shout at him to just stop talking.