Sonzuku and Dadzawa Oneshots

46AB (Shadows)

Credit to the artist!

Sonzuku POV

I believe I can see the shadows creep in sometimes, just that little bit closer, telling me they are there. I know when they reach it will be warm and safe and gentle and sweet and everything I want. I don't understand why my teacher, Eraserhead, the hero of the shadows basically, takes the news so badly.

Death is everything the world is not; it is loving and caring. It is nothing like the world I know about, the one that takes until you are left with nothing until death saves you.

My teacher says he is tired. Tired of seeing his loved ones die, tired of the systems, and tired of society. I don't understand when he still says that he is not tired of life. That there are moments he enjoys and would not trade. Maybe his world is different from mine. I should not judge. I'll be grateful he gets that life and I will meet him later, with love.

He says he doesn't like my views on the world, that I should not see it as such. There is loss and despair but also adoration and wonder all around us. I don't see it, but I am glad Eri and my friends will be left in his care. His illusions may be just what is needed.

He grabs me, sometimes, at night, when it gets really bad, or when he has nightmares, or just when he wants to see me. He pets my hair, whispering "I'm sorry," over and over again while keeping my secret from the others. They shouldn't take it too bad. I still have two months to say my goodbyes and love yous. I still have plenty of time, too much of it, in my opinion. Although I know some people want to continue in this world, I am certainly not one of them.

The one thing I have yet to tell anyone is that it is curable. I could get the surgery that has never failed on a quirkless person or one with a quirkless body. I don't want to tell All Might or my mom. I went to the appointment I scheduled, alone, praying there wouldn't be too many questions. There wasn't, instead I was told a year if I was lucky if I didn't get the surgery.

You know, now and then I wonder if I have ever been worth it. So many resources and good people I have wasted. Why should I be happy here when so many other people aren't? It's not fair. Aisawa tells me it is not fair to do that to myself either. I don't care. I've never mattered.

"We are all grieving terribly over the loss of one of the best people we have ever met..."

"Izuku was my friend. He helped me when no one else would. He told me stories..."

"Deku saved me from the evil man. Why did he have to be taken from me too?"

"My son. Oh, my poor baby boy. What did you do to him? What did I do?"

"I apologize. I was told six months ago that he would be lucky to live six months. He told me how he didn't want to live, how he was getting weaker, and how he felt so bad for everyone else. I found out yesterday that he could have lived, had he gone through with the surgery. Izuku is honestly one of the strongest people I know, even today. He went through so much and only chose to die on his body's terms. While it is true that he chose not to live, he still did so much good, even going as far as risking every part of himself and his future for others. This, of course, displays bad tendencies that I should have noticed. That we should have noticed. However, we did not. I refuse to blame his death on anyone or anything. He did so much good in such a short time. This is a fact that no one can deny. I hope that we can live up to the standards he held us to as time passes. And so, as we are gathered here today, may we remember him as the best of us..."