A Heart To Be Heard (A Freenbeck story)

An untold story from the past 🌷

Freens POV

Finally, I am back in my country after 2 years. Being away from your home and mother is not a very easy thing to go through. 

But thankfully, I survived.

And speaking about us, it's always been just the two of us. 

Me and my mother. 

My father left us; when I couldn't even understand the meaning of separation. Initially, I used to think, that maybe he was just away from his work like he used to be. But after it felt like an eternity, Mom finally told me that he was not going to come back anymore. That was, actually,  not so hard for my 5-year-old self to understand and process. Only cried for 2 days and that was IT. But as I started to grow up, I saw how much mom had to struggle to keep food on our plates, and I realized, it was not only that he left us; but he ran away from his responsibilities too.

And that's why, I held it against him for so long. Until he had a little bit importance and a place in my heart. Then I grew out of it and learned, that sometimes, holding onto something is more painful as well as exhausting than letting it go. 

But the process was not easy at all. In starting, as the years passed my anger only got bigger. I felt so disappointed in him. Fathers are THE HEROES for daughters, and so he used to be mine.

Once.

But, I couldn't see that in him anymore. It didn't get unnoticed by my Mom. I constantly refused the idea of inviting him for my annual days at school or for parents meetings and my birthdays. My refusal was only a medium, but in reality he never showed interests in those things too. And maybe that's why she didn't push me to it. The anger was fair. She told me that she wanted our relationship to be just like other father and daughter, but it couldn't happen. His second marriage might be the reason for it too. He got busy with his newfound family, and the space between us widened. Not that I feel bad about it, I never did. 

I don't know why.

I was going through the process of letting him go and HE was helping me.

A round of applause for him guys. *claps*

But mom was there. For everything. All in my failures and my winnings. Always supporting and encouraging my little soul. She taught me the things which neither any teacher nor any books could teach me. 'Keeping faith in ourselves during hard times' is the most valuable lesson I have learned from her.

Growing up I witnessed those sad things but also something that has left its effect on me. I saw that, my mother, she is a phenomenal woman. Everything I could ask for in a role model. Responsible, independent, brave, clever, and the list goes on. I saw her living up to her own values and beliefs. People say playing fair leaves you behind in dark, but she was the example for me, that yes it might not give the desired outcome, but it gives you a personality which people respect and they love you for it.  We were not actually having everything we needed on daily basis, but she worked hard. She worked hard everyday. Any small job she could find, without any shame. She never gave up. 

The disappointment which was in my heart for my father slowly started to be replaced by pride for my mother. The hero that I was looking for, in my father, was right in front of me. 

MY MOM.

Her undying, unconditional love and support are another main reason for where I am right now. The journey was not easy, and all the credits I will give to my family and friends.

My friends........yeah, well they are another story for another time.

Right now I am driving my baby towards my company. I have worked hard day and night to establish this firm, now it has branches all over the world. The reason I left for such a long time was the heart-crashing breakup. I know it sounds pathetic but the change was necessary. It helped me to deal with my broken heart. I couldn't focus on work, and the person in me who knew the importance of this success, could never let that happen. So just to free my mind from those things I traveled.