My Shades of Gray

Shade 2 ~ Pineapple

After laying on my bed for a while, I got up and unpacked my suitcases. I picked the wooden frame portrait, which was on top of my clothes. It was our family picture before my sister's death.

I darted my eyes from the cheerful faces of my parents to the three children. My elder sister, my brother, and I. I'm the youngest of my siblings. My brother is three years older than me and he's in the final year of his university in Florida.

We were all extremely close to each other and the death of my sister affected not just me, but my family as well. A lot has changed since that day. We were all cautious with one other and were always careful not to bring up a conversation that included my sister. The casual chats we used to have were replaced with silence.

My brother went to Florida for studies and when it became unbearable for me and my parents, I moved out, too.

It would be a lie if I say it did not scare me to come out of my parents' umbrella and live on my own. I turned out to be a ditto copy of my sister and I knew my parents felt uneasy around me. One day my mother accidentally called me by my sister's name and that was the last strike. I didn't want to live in my sister's shadow all my life, so I moved out in a hurry.

After that incident seven years ago, I woke up the next day in a hospital, not remembering anything for a while. It scared my parents that the trauma damaged my memory, and I wished it did, but that wasn't the case.

When my eyes landed on the red flowers in my room, the memories hit my brain with the speed of light and I burst out crying. Red became my fear.

I remembered I wept like a dying cat and what do you expect of a twelve-year-old who saw her big sister shooting her brains out?

I had no idea why she did that. We lived a happy life with our family and we had everything we wanted.

No matter how much my parents tried to stop me, I couldn't stop wailing. Even seeing their distressed facing made me cry out and the fear of red didn't help either. I began having panic attacks and one day I woke up with a gray vision.

Doctors explained the color processing centers in my brain might have got damaged because of the trauma which made my vision monochrome. The receptor cells of my eye's retina got distorted and made it sound like I intentionally did that because I didn't want to see the colors that reminded me of my sister's death.

It was a rare case, and there was no cure.

I have to live a colorless life and could only see the world in the shades of gray.

My parents got heartbroken because one of their daughters lost her life while the other got color blind.

On the other hand, I took it as a blessing. I couldn't imagine what would've happened to me when I started leaking every month.

After placing all of my clothes in the wooden wardrobe, I walked towards the window and saw darkness outside. The sun has set a long time ago, and it was time for dinner.

The thought of having a welcome party made me groan, but my stomach was aching for food. Sighing, I opened the door and walked downstairs.

My steps slowed down when my eyes went to the room opposite to the stairs. A guy was leaning against the doorframe, making out with a girl.

They must be Hunter and Rachel.

Another couple.

I forced my steps on the stairs, making loud noises for the couple to listen so they'll stop. But they were too focused on exploring each other's mouths to pay attention to me. Scowling at their indecency, I quickly made my way down and muttered.