My Shades of Gray

Shade 35 ~ Fireworks

On the fourth of July, I went out to the local festival with the gang dressed up in blue overall shorts with a red and white horizontal stripe crop top and white shoes. Caroline painted the flag on my cheek and the others as well.

I haven’t celebrated a festival for a very long time and even though everything seemed gray to me, I had fun with everyone.

In the morning we watched the parade and live patriotic concerts, and then we went to a block party in the evening. We ate hamburgers, hot dogs, apple pie, and all the various kinds of food sold at the stalls. In the evening, we went to the park where the fireworks were about to start.

Everyone seemed enthusiastic as they waited for the fireworks and I tried to level my joy with them even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to relish the colorful sky with my vision.

The town park was vast, and a huge audience was gathered there. Some danced, and some sang All-American songs at the top of their lungs. I watched the little kids giggling as they ran around the park with balloons and party poppers in their hands.

It felt good to see all the animated people full of joy and carefree, with no worry about this world. I got out of my trance when there was an announcement from the speaker.

“Everyone, please gather near the lake. The fireworks are about to start in five minutes.”

I watched as everyone dashed towards the lake to see the fireworks up close. Caroline took us along, but I slipped away from the group while she wasn't looking and strolled off alone.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep the fake cheerful smile on my face for a very long time. I might never show it and no matter how much I tried to dismiss the thought. Deep down, I missed seeing colors.

Everything seemed beautiful with its unique colors. The flowers, the greenery, the sky, the clothes, and even the people. But now all of that looks nothing but dull gray.

I went to the bench area behind the trees hiding from the view of others. I sat on the top of the picnic bench and dangled my feet as I glanced up at the sky. The sun had set a few minutes ago and everyone was waiting for the darkness to take over so the fireworks would start.

“Mind if I join?” My shoulders stiffened at the familiar voice, and I kept looking at the sky.

“Do whatever you want.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him sitting next to me at the table.

Why is he here?

Can’t he just leave me alone?

We haven’t gotten the chance to talk since that night three days ago at the waterfall and I wasn’t interested either. He can kiss Rachel's ass for all I care.

“You should go back to the crowd,” I said after a few seconds of silence and mocked him. “Or else Rachel might come here looking for you.”

“Are you jealous?” He teased, making me scoff.

“What are we in ninth grade?”

“She won’t come.”

“How can you be so sure?” I turned my head towards him.

I wanted to remind him she came last time too, but I held the urge. Or else he would think that it bothered me, and I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Levi than admit how much that irked me.

“She won’t because I ended things with her.” He answered, looking deep into my eyes.

“Didn’t you do that like ages ago?”