AFIRE

V : Roadtrip : III

"Maine, please. Lumabas ka na jan. Kausapin mo ko. Please."

As soon as Maine realized that she missed a day in drinking her birth control pills, she locked herself in the bathroom. She stared at the pink, dated, sphere shaped pills on her hand and her eyes began to well up. She is not ready to be a mother. She just turned 21 for crying out loud.

Never once did she think that she'll lose her virginity at this age, let alone be pregnant and start a family. She still has a lot of dreams to fulfill, goals to pursue and a hell of a lot to check off her bucket list.

"Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga magulang ko? Ng mga kamag-anak at kaibigan ko? Ng pamilya ni Rj? Ng mga tao? Shit." Reality began to sink in. Thoughts coursed through her mind, of all the possible scenarios. All the what ifs and doubts filled her head as she began to sob. She tightly clutched on her belly as she faced the full length mirror, imagining herself with full blown, pregnant belly.

She saw how difficult pregnancy was from her Ate Niki. All the horror stories about throwing up early in the morning, peeing almost 20 times a day, nausea, dizziness, cravings, demands, hormonal imbalance, stretch marks, weight gain, break outs, falling hair and the like immediately hit her. Her breath hitched and heart beat faster as she thought about the possibility of her going through those things.

She sat with her back against the bathroom door, placed her head on her knees and bawled her eyes out. She thought of Rj. She knows how much he loved her and that he is willing to do everything for her. But the burden of having a child may be too much to bear, especially now that it is the height of both their careers.

"Rj.." She whispered, unable to suppress the guilt that she began to feel, thinking about how her boyfriend would readily drop everything for her and the possibility of having a baby.

"No, Rj..this is my fault. Ganun ba talaga ako katanga?" She kept slapping the floor in frustration, blaming only herself.

Maybe it was a mistake that they came here.
Maybe if they were extra careful, this wouldn't happen.
Maybe if they didn't have sex, they wouldn't be in this situation.
Maybe they should've waited a little bit longer.
Maybe they shouldn't have entered this relationship in the first place.

"Meng! Please, please open the door. Magusap tayo, please? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, baby. I didn't mean for this to happen. I should've been extra careful. Gusto mo na bang bumalik ng Manila? Ihahatid na kita. Please, Maine. Tell me how I can make this better, baby. I love you..I love you, Maine..ple-" Rj put his forehead against the door and kept knocking. And as he said those words, Maine suddenly opened the door, put her arms around his waist and buried herself in his warmth. All he could do was envelope her with his body.

She sobbed, soaking his shirt with her tears. He could hear her whimper as she hugged him tighter. He let her be, and soon, tears began to fall from his eyes as well.

"Baby, Maine, I'm here, don't worry. I'll always be here. I love you." Reassuring her with his words, somehow it soothed her, calming her down a bit.

After a few minutes, she pulled away, wiped the tears from her eyes and met his gaze. She gently placed her hand on his cheeks and caressed the soft skin with her thumb. Reaching up, slowly she closed her eyes, capturing his lips with hers for a sweet and loving kiss.

"I love you, Rj. I'm so sorry for being so reckless."

"No, baby. This is my fault. I should've waited. Mapilit kasi ako eh. I'm really sorry, Maine. Whatever happens, I'm here. I will always be here. I will never leave you, okay?"