Pokemon x reader Oneshots

Rayquaza? -Crackfic-

Language warning!

Your POV
I was in my kitchen making toast when I was dragged outside by my boyfriend Ray with no words spoken.

Confused, I look up to where he was pointing to see an army of cats. He was obviously in a state of shock, but I wasn't. Blowing my whistle, my cat army came and picked us up, carrying us to the forest.

Spotting a giant yellow head, I screamed at my army to put us down and wait for us. Flapping my arms like a flappy hell demon, I football tackled that motherfucker to the ground. Flipping the questionable man around, I yelled
"Korosensei I need pudding!"

Out of the abyss, a flat chested, green haired, abomination of a girl ran out at the word pudding.

Following her came an androgynous, blue haired boy panting along.

Next came a smirking redhead with purple devil horns and a purple tail.

I blew my whistle, commanding my cat army to bring these people to me and Ray, who had the sourest face ever.

My army obliged and I was soon surrounded by my friends.

"This, is (a potato) my boyfriend Ray that I was telling you about. As you can see, he is very green and he hates you all."

At this point, I was yanked off of Korosensei, who I didn't even realize I was still sitting on, and put onto Ray's lap. Groaning in protest, I commanded my friends to save me and shower me in marshmallows.

While having marshmallows thrown at me, I chanted a spell and Dan and Phil appeared.

Ray was panicking at this point, more boys who were my friends appeared, COMPETITION!

Dan so gracefully said, "Why the fuck am I here, y/n? I said call me when you are in a dire situation. God, you can't fucking do anything right!"

"Calm down, Daniel the spaniel, or I'll lady door you mum." Phil intelligently stated.

Summoning my pimp cane, I smacked Phil on the head and threw him back into the portal.

"Dan, I am keeping you hostage, as my best friend, you legally have to be okay with this." I said.

I forgot to mention that everyone was watching at this moment.

"Get the fuck outta here Korosensei! And take your students with you!" I belted out.

Chanting another spell, tide pods rained from the sky.

Pushing Dan and Ray together, I simply said that they would now be best friends.

I then grew koala ears and a koala tail and climbed onto Dan, my arms around his neck, legs around his waist. He then supported me by putting one arm around my back and one on my sexy booty shorts covered ass.

Ray had steam coming out of his ears and went to snatch me off of Dan, only to freeze after hearing my words.

"Ray, you've been a good boyfriend, but I want to be with Dan now. I hope you understand that we can be friends, here, have some pods." I softly spoke, handing my ex tide pods.

Dan started to walk away, me still on him, when Ray ran forward and tried to grab me.

Growling, I got off Dan and summoned a knife and stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

I disposed of the body, giving it to 2 suspicious looking llamas wearing amazing hats.

Crawling back onto Dan, my new boyfriend, we strolled off into the sunset to live our life together!