If Time Stands Still

83- good terms

You guys reached the vote goal, so of course, you're rewarded 🥰 enjoy!

-

~ One week later ~

Zayn's POV

"And how did you feel when she told you?" Dr. Kimura inquires.

"I was mad initially, but I managed to calm myself down. I'm not mad at her, just frustrated by the situation." I fold my arms, "We had a nice conversation after that, and we've been speaking every other day, but it's hard to in the week. The time difference is really big."

She acknowledges what I've said, jots something down, then looks up at me again and waits for me to continue.

"So I'd say things are good between us, but we haven't really had any conversation about moving forward. I don't think she's going to be the one to say it, since I'm the one who ended things with her."

"And what's stopping you from being the one to start that conversation?"

My shoulders fall as I exhale, "I feel like I'm going back on my word. I'm the one that didn't want to do long distance, and I still feel like it'll hurt."

Aylin wasn't wrong when she said it's a cop out. It's the truth, but it's more of an excuse. It doesn't take a therapist fo know that avoiding hurt is a natural instinct.

"If I were to say let's just do this, what's going to change? I'm still not going to be able to be with her."

"Are you okay with whatever it is you've got going on right now?"

I shake my head, "No, we both need clarity, clearly. I thought being on good terms would be enough, but I want her back."

The room falls pin-drop silent, the only thing I can hear is the sound of the pen on paper as she writes something down again.

"You said you'd be going against your word if you were to start things up again. What did you mean by that?"

"I called it off because I didn't wanna do long distance, so to be the one to give in is just..." I shake my head, "I don't know, okay? I'm stubborn. I think we got that down."

It's stupid. I know I'm just being stubborn, but I can't help it. We both want this, and I know Aylin is more than prepared to be with me again. It shouldn't be complicated, but here I am, complicating it.

This must be what it's like inside her mind.

"Would you have done long distance if Aylin told you about her plans in advance?" She questions.

I purse my lips. I've never thought about it too much. I don't like fixating on hypotheticals.

"Possibly..." I trail off, "Probably... maybe. I guess. I think."

Surprisingly, I hear my therapist let out a snicker at my response, but it's brief.

"Zayn, have you ever considered why you were so adamant on not giving long distance a chance?" She asks me, "And I don't mean because of the hurt. Hurting is inevitable. You miss each other, of course, but it can work if you want it to. And you seem like you love her very much."

"I do." I confirm, "I don't know, doc. Aren't you supposed to tell me what's wrong with me?"

She smiles slightly, "Nothing is wrong with you, Zayn. I just wanted you to really reflect on your choices."

"I'm trying."

"Well, have you ever considered that you weren't open to a long distance relationship for the sole reason that you were trying to teach her a lesson?" She asks, "And maybe it had nothing to do with the hurt of missing each other. To me, you seem like you'd do anything for Aylin."