See I'm like no other...
It's hard for me
To be me
I get uncomfortable
Showing people I'm human
Something I'm not comfortable
With saying aloud
It's hard for me to express myself
Feeling once I express myself
I can't protect myself
I'm left in the open
Exposed
Damn near ready to explode
Hurt many times
By loved ones,
People I called friends
Gotta find a in between
I gotta take responsibility
For the people I let in
Left flapping in the wind
Like a broken stem
Strong but unaware
Of my own abilities
I allow depression to take over
A new fashion statement
A new hairdo
Hiding behind the clothing
A look I feel no one can penetrate
A mask
A facade put up
So I can protect myself at all times
No matter the cost
A structure
Made from tungsten
Is I t strong enough?
I may be able to fool you...
Underneath these clothes
The talents
Music
Poetry...
I'm breaking
Drowning some would say
It's like concrete
Rapidly hardening
Over the top of
Freshly planted trees
Not giving them time to grow
No nutrients
Its only a matter of time
Before the roots pop through
They say the grass is greener
On the other side
Right?
What side might that be
I feel I've traveled the world
Living vicariously through others
Learning lesson
Trying my hardest
Not to make those same mistakes
Mistakes make the person
In the mist
Making the same ones
Just in different ways
Trying so hard to not be like them
I wind up becoming
The worst parts of em'
Torn between who I want to be
Who I'm becoming
I'm running...
Then, the realization of
I have nowhere no run
Hits me like a ton of bricks
Feeling like I'm in one of those
Clown dreams
You know the one
Where your trapped in a room
You're standing In front of a mirror
You see behind you
Is that evil clown
You turn...
There he is
Instead of it being one of him n' you
It's 12 of him and 1 of you
You're scared
You begin to run
So frazzled by what just happened
You stumble
A fumble...
Trip...
A fall into a pool
You wake up scared
In a puddle of your own piss
It seems this dream is never ending
I can't wait till I'm able to awake
My mother comes rushing in
To protect me
Girl this is the real world
Sometimes the sun is going to shine
Sometimes it is going to rain
A few strikes of thunder
Flashes of lightening
At the end if the day
You have to live with you
I know it's scary
Nothing is going to be easy
There are going to be times
You want to give up
Times where you feel
There is no light at all
Defeated
There is no ending to
An eternity of pain
Reality sets in
Becomes your best friend
There isn't an amount of money
That can buy you happiness
An amount of clothing
That can make you feel
Better about yourself
It all starts with you
So once again
I state
See I'm like no other
I take parts of what I knew
To make what you see
I am building who I am
Yes, I hide behind my clothing
Only because you people
Are so damn judgmental
Because I feel if
No one knows the real me
They can't hurt me
They can't tell me
I'm not good enough
I'm not the prettiest
Or the skinniest
Trust me i know that
There will always
Be someone better than me
To me
I do the damn thing
I swear I don't care
I can give a rats ass
Cuz my mother taught me
Sticks and stones
Will brake your bones
But words will never hurt me
Words are like bombs going off
People's mouths
Are like leaking faucets
With patches over it
Temporarily fixing the problem
This is me
Take it or leave it
It might be confusing to you
But to me
Its perfect
This is my truth
This is my new beginning
Its only a matter of time
Before you begin to see
I'm like no other
~Darryelle A. Wilkerson
Tue, June 23, 2015 2:30am
