Not worth your title

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Funny thing is
When I need you the most
You disappear like a ghost
Leaving a blazing trail behind you

The palpitations of my heart
Left me breathless
Causing my chest to slightly
Heave up and down

I'm wound up
Because you looked me
Dead in the eyes
& mustered up

All the courage in the world
Promising to never let me down
Just to in the end
Pull the plug killing me ever so slightly

Every word I believed
Every moment
I took in as if it'd be my very last
& now it's sad

I will never trust; Another word
That comes out of a mans mouth
The one man
Who was supposed to do no wrong

Did all the wrong in the world
Lied every chance
Turned us into a game
Playing hide and seek with the truth

You are worthless
The scum on the bottom of my shoe
Is worth more than you
And to think I called you Dad

To think
I tilted my chin
Asking my mother for
What turned her into a shadow

This is me tying the knot
Severing all ties
And torching each end
You are dead to me

All this anger I harbor
Here is the poem
I spill out
Like blood from an open wound

You aren't worth the anger
I hold so dearly
That fuels my everyday life
You aren't worth it

All those times you told me
I'd never be enough
All those times
You kissed my lips

Poisoning my vibrant life with every touch
At first I hoped you'd burn
I'd hope you die
Choking on your spit

This man was no good
This man turned blue skies
Into the fiery pits of hell
This man no longer deserved

The golden title
Father
Because a father
Was everything he wasn't

A father was a man
& he was not
A father is a provider
In fact he stole from our mouthes

I mouthed a prayer
Praying for forgiveness
I had wished him Ill
& that was very ungodly of me

My anger is still there
Hate is a strong word
I'm trying hard not to hate him
God knows

I drop to my knees begging
God
To take this feeling
And burry it

Like the undead berries the dead
I accept your apology
I will never forget the things you've done
You've said

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