Funny thing is
I swore it was you
From your head
All the way down
To your feet; I just knew
Things began to change
The facade we wore
As a mask
Then began to fade away
I fucked up
You fucked up
By that time we realized;
it was way too late
My heart hurts like hell
Sad part about that
My mouth won't fix
Itself to say
I'm broken beyond repair
I have ways that I can't even explain
Not to mention chains
Bonding me to the ground
I've become a slave
To my own heart
I wish I could be ruthless
And rip niggas to shreds
And laugh
As I tear them apart
I wish I could not give a fuck about anyone
Because then I wouldn't
Be who you see today
I'd be that savage nigga
That no one could take advantage of
I swear it feels like
As soon as I've taken
12 steps forward
I've then take 6 giant steps backwards
I'm not one to complain
I just hate my heart
That fact I'll give and give
Until I can't give anymore
Or the fact that I'm easily hurt
Either I care way too much
Or not at all
I'm sorry
No
I'm done apologizing
For things I have no control over
Im done turning a blind eye
To the ones that've hurt me the most
I refuse to allow this to be water
Under a very unsteady bridge
I hope it collapse
Then I explode
Ripping niggas off they're pedestal
I don't look up to none of you
I hope you burn in hell
When god judges you
Funny part about it
I take it back...
I hope you follow the yellow brick rode
Right into gods arms
I hope he shows you the way
Making you want to change your heart
I hope when all else fails
You get down on your knees and pray
Damn
Here I go again
Finding the light
In the darkest of days
I see you
Is that not enough
I know you
Like I know the back of my hand
I see you...
I
KNOW
YOU
You're softer than babies cheeks
Yet you put up this scare tactic
Portraying yourself as the big bad wolf
Ohhh big bad wolf...
please don't blow my house down
Aha
See... I;
Quietly thought to myself
Maybe we've out grown each other
Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be
I can't help but think
Once my wheels gets turning
Nigga i can't eat
I'm fixated until I've figured out everything
Fuck I guess call me a shark
On shark week
I'm the main topic of conversation
I bite back
Leaving niggas shook
Like a basketball player
I stay up most nights
Thinking about you
While trying not to think about you
But the thought
To start
Learning to love another
Care for
Protect
And getting to know another
Got me like please
Just punch me
Leave me to die in a desert
Shit don't I deserve the love
Please preserve our love
Keep it locked up until forever
I keep promising
I won't forget our laughs
Our silly little jokes
Our happy smiles
And angered fights
Our long drawn out conversations
Our plans that never got carried through
The many tears shed
Our memories
Our experiences
Our friendship
Our love
But some days
I wish I could just smoke it away
I wish I could
Combust
Then poof I'm gone
Nothing left
Not even a trace of smoke
Then everyone could feel my pain
I am not an expert at feelings
Honestly if I could Bury it under a tree
And watch it bloom in the spring
I would;
Because feelings just aren't me
I can't express them
Once I'm affected by them
I just burn them
Like love notes
To your ex lover
Forever lost in a fire
