I watched a video today
About a woman
Killing two of her children
For rapping the other
All the emotion she went through
As she said everything she had done
I understood it
I was right there
WATCHING everything be done
Like a movie
I was him before
I was hurt and broken
My thought process was changed
Permanently
I hope you never have to feel
Fear in your own house
To have to tip toe around
Because any slightest movement
Would draw attention to you
But unlike him
I could never bring myself to tell my mother
What had actually happened
I could never
Let those words seep out
Like air in a hot air balloon
Not only would it break her
But it'd break me
Knowing I was too weak to fight back
Or how'd I'd cave in because
The quicker he'd be finished
The quicker I could run off into Lala land
I was three
When it all started
He had no relation to me
But he was the closest thing I had to a father
And now
I wish I had taken that knife
When I had the chance
Drove it into his stomach
And cut him up into the finest of pieces
Knowing he still roams this earth haunts me
I shake in my sleep
Because those dreams of him
Climbing on top of me
Just became dreams
Only eight years ago
I lie awake at night
Tossing and turning
I'm so angry inside
I'm so angry
And I just wish that he'd burn
He'd say
Let's go watch movies...
Daddy daughter time
At first it meant you play video games
While I get drunk until I pass out
Then it turned into...
lay down
Come watch this movie with me
I'd dose off and awake
With my panties pulled off
His dick between my legs
Then it went from that too
He'd make me give him
Long drawn out hugs
With my shirt off
She intentionally killed her children
Made them suffer first
Then murdered them cold blood
I wish I had the guts
Too look her dead in her face
And tell her it all started with me
Break her soul
& tell her that my sisters weren't alone
I was told
How can you find happiness
Without forgiveness
Well I guess I won't
Because I harbor
Every emotion ever felt towards him
Next to my heart
And that's what fuels
Every decision made
If you're reading this
I hope you die
And when you die
I'm going to personally spit
On your grave
I'll piss every day
And throw parties till I'm content
On disturbing your peace
From up above your grave
I hate you Tony
Good luck on mercy
You'll need it
