This is my therapy

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I wasn't myself for months
Nobody even noticed it

There's a small part of me
That allows my emotions
To get the best of me
I'm in a room full of people
My voice blending
Effortlessly into the background

I did that too often
I was the melody
That softly played
In the background
Most just bobbing their heads
Just feeling the beat
Not really understanding
The rhythm of my feet

I wasn't myself for months
I met you and found myself
Falling...
In a matter of what felt like seconds
Fuck... I really cannot do this again

The last time I found myself
Torn in two
Heart in hand
Chest wide the fuck open
N' fully prepared to be heartless
I placed my heart in that box
Gift wrapping it as tightly as possible

Took the shit and locked it away
I can't be out here giving myself
To everyone that I meet

Going on date after date
Talking day after day
Just letting the vibes show me who you are

I wasn't myself for months
I sat there
In a group and blinded in PERFECTLY
With the drapes on the wall

What was I supposed to do?
How was I supposed to act?
You are this ball of energy
A ray of sunshine
The perfect melody

I am darkness that looms
Over you on your bad days
I am the pain you feel in your chest
The ahhhhhhh in the scream
You just let out

This is utter bullshit
How can I match with someone
As sweet as you

A year later
N' I still can't shake the feeling
That you'll be the one to break my heart

I see some things
N' pray they'll change
Then I think
It's me

I'm the one who needs to change
How can someone as perfect as you
Deal with someone
As broken as me

I write and write
Allowing all the pain
To seep into the pages
This is my therapy

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