Bonded by Evil [COMPLETED STORY]

chapter fifty

New year's eve
Alora Slater POV

   Half of the school year was finally accomplished. Only six more months of living in this prison before we could leave. Tensions have been rising over the last months, war was coming, and soon. All of the professors here knew it, all of the students did as well. People had pretty much given up on their schoolwork and many hadn't come back from Christmas holidays.

   It was incredibly depressing, to see the one place that truly felt like home to me turning dark and dismal. The world seemed greyer, it was always raining or snowing, it was as though the sun would never show its warm face again. The thick clouds hung over the world like a suffocating blanket and any ounce of happiness was quickly squashed by it.

Our friend group had taken a hit as well. None of us were getting along like we used to, everyone was in an awful mood all the time. The smallest thing would set someone off and it would be awkward for the rest of the day. Pansy lashed out at Goyle for breathing to loudly the other day and hid in the dorm for the rest of the day.

   Draco and I had been keeping mostly to ourselves for the last few months. Every so often he would spend some time with either Blaise, Crabbe or Goyle, but never the three of them together. Daphne and Pansy were almost constantly at each other's throats, especially when I wasn't there to play referee. It was just miserable all the time.

   We had only seen the Dark Lord once since at least before my birthday. It was around Christmas, he held a meeting and he was completely unstable. Not that he was normally a sane man, but he was aggressive opposed to his usual unsettling calm and was constantly panicky and becoming increasingly frantic. He looked feeble, almost as though he were falling apart.

   That meeting didn't last long either. He came in to scream something about Harry Potter and pace around the room a few times before telling us all to "do what needed to be done." Nobody knew what that meant, and frankly, I didn't want to. I hadn't been called away in a little while, and it was nice to feel like a decent human being again and not a total scumbag.

   "What's going to happen to us?" I asked Draco as he stroked my hair.

   He sighed and rested his head on my shoulder and pulled us back into the tree we were leaning against. The Black Lake was choppy and terrifying and the wind felt like knives slicing across our faces when it gusted.

   "I wish I knew."

   "Have you heard anything new from your parents?"

   "No. I haven't spoken to them since Christmas."

   "Not even when we went to your house two weeks ago?"

   "Other than hello, no."

   "Do you want to talk?"

   "No."

   We returned to the comfortable and recently familiar silence. There wasn't much talking going on between us, we were both scared out of our minds. Anything could go wrong and we could end up dead or in Azkaban at any second. That was not a thought either of us wanted to embrace. The wind whipped my hair into my face as I put my head into my knees. Draco shuffled closer to me and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

   I think we both needed a good cry. Not that either of us cried often, but there's a split second when you're wiping the last tears away and you feel better. Its like you're wiping away the troubles of the world for just a moment. It's gone in an instant, but that inkling of optimism was critical in times like these. There was so much to cry about, we just never did.

   "What day is it today?" He asked slowly.

   "The 31st."

   "Already?"

   "I know."

   "Another year gone."

   "In a blur."

   "We did it though. That's got to count for something," he gasped.

   "I think so."

   He grabbed my gloved hand and held it like his life depended on it. I flinched a little, but these little actions were all that was happening for us lately. Neither of us were overly affectionate, so it was sometimes difficult to figure out what the other wanted. Nothing ever in public though, if you didn't know better, we never would have appeared to be dating.

I wasn't scared of loving him, heavens no, but I was scared to show it. I never really learned how, my parents were never truly in love. There was a part of me that screamed at me to run away, Draco didn't deserve all of my emotional baggage. I was damaged goods. He had to make every move because I never knew when to, or even how to.

   "You know that I love you right? I know I don't say it very much, or even show it, but-" I blurted out.

   "I know. I love you too," he interrupted.

   And that was all we said for the rest of the time we spent by the water. I felt bad that I could show him I loved him more, but as long as he knew, well that was all we needed. I just get uncomfortable with all of the romantic things sometimes, particularly when we aren't alone. I wish I could be more open for him.

   He was the man I grew to love, and the guilt of not being able to show it properly killed me slowly.