Harry Potter: The Cat & Stag

Secret Lovers Part 3

My mind is reeling from Secerus' confession in the Forest of Dean earlier tonight. Granted I refuse to be with a murderer, but I have to admit it did hurt when he broke off our shagging dates.

Not that I am the type of woman to be heartbroken over a breakup, but this betrayal was completely blindsided.
I had known Severus Snape since he was 11. Although shy and quiet, he is one of the smartest students Ive ever taught.

I never thought of him in a romantic way, him being nearly half my age. I always respected him, despite him being the most loathed teacher. But I also saw what most didnt see when they look into those onyx eyes; a tortured soul.

Yes, I found it surprising that Severus asked me to dance at the Yule Ball, but thats what coworkers do. We dance with each other. Although I never expected to shag with any coworker, I do have my rules of professionalism. Severus acted so out of character, more like that shy student I knew. So I had acepted. He wasnt mean or cold, but polite and a bit kinder than usual.

That first shag is when I was pleasantly  surprised. Severus Snape is one passionate lover. Its not my business to know what he does during time away from the castle, I have my own line of lovers I entertain myself.

But it was nice to see the side of him most dont see. The side I know that Lily Potter saw in him. But when he broke off our shag sessions, it seemed like it was back to business, as if nothing between us ever happened. He turned cold, began avoiding me, and I in turn went back to ignoring him.

I did find it frustrating though, I could tell Severus seemed stressed a lot last year. I wanted to help him release some tension like he had with me.

During our private time together, we werent opposing coworkers, we were two people with opposite ideas but with sharp minds. I thought I had found someone trustworthy.

But it was all broken when Severus murdered Albus. The one man who knew me better than I knew myself. Albus had seen when I wasnt happy in my Ministry job and gave me the escape to return to my childhood again.

Now seeing what side Severus belongs on, I know now that hes had to balance carefully in the middle line of dark and light. Decieving those on both sides, that he belongs to the other. Hes clever enough to avoid Askaban, slithering between each side and staying on that side when it appears to be dominating the world.

Which makes it all the more frustrating that he pushed me away for my own safety! Part of me is flattered that he cares, while the other part is furious!

I growled in annoyance as I patrolled the halls. In the past when we made the pact to keep us a seceet, we only had to worry about our coworkers and the student gossip. Now, we have to worry about keeping our lives.

Im unsure what to do, I had loved Severus, but thats when I thought I knew him. Before he killed our boss, before he became this shell of the man I knew.

Hearing his confession earlier, I was happy to hear he still loved me, but do I love him now? After all his lies, and deceving? How can I trust that what Severus confessed to me in the Forest of Dean is the truth? And most importantly; does he want the light side to win? I know where to get my answers.

*

"Albus?" I peeked my head in the Heads office at a time I knew Severus would be gone.

"Minerva, I wondered when you'd come." Albus' blue eyes twinkled.

I growled, "then you also know why im here."

"I do. You want answers about Severus' true alligence. And about my murder that Harry witnessed." Albus nodded.

I rolled my eyes, "wow, death never changed you, has it?"

"No. But onto business. I am the one who ordered Severus to kill me..." Albus began.

"WHY IN MERLIN?!" I raged

"In order to save Draco Malfoys soul." Albus continued as if I didnt inturrupt him. "The boy had a death sentance on him. He had to kill me or be killed alongside his parents. Voldemort knew Draco could never kill anyone, so in order to protect thr boy, Severus stepped in under my orders, to take Dracos place. And I already was dying a slow painful death." Albus released a deep breath.

"Dying?! How...." I gasped when the answer came, "your blackened hand!"

The portrait nodded, smiling in approval. "It was all planned. You were away from the castle the night i returned with my hand cursed. It was then that Severus had no choice but to cut things off with you."

"You encouraged him, didnt you?!" My eyes widened in furry as the portrait nodded again.

"He has never been happier than with you, Minerva. But, we both knew should your secret ever get out, you would be cast out alongside him after he murdered me. Rumors about your alligence and your own morals would be thrown into question. We both knew how much your reputation means to you."

"Screw it Albus! Reputation be damned!" I hissed.

"And also what Harry would think of you too. You could have ended up in Askaban and then where would Harry be? Back with his Muggle realtives?" A silver eyebrow went up.

I groaned, "I'm not trying to be selfish here. I know that Severus is anything but selfish, but you both should have trusted me!"

"Its not about trust, its about acting here Minerva. Although with Harry youre acting is perfect, we couldnt risk it. Harry just turned of age this past summer, did you wamt to leave him alone?" Albus asked.

"No but...."

"If Severus was killed for disloyalty to the Dark Lord, many more deaths would have followed." Albus inturrupted me.