𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐭.
~
For five years, Evelyn turned up missing. Locked at the bottom of an endless void of water in a metal safe. Trapped in a coma of her own. Though she returns, nothi...
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"I wanna play with your hair."
"Why?" I ask, dodging her hands and grabbing them at the wrist.
"Because it's long and fluffy." She reaches for my hair again, but I prevent her. She pouts and sulks at me.
"Okay, what's going on with you?"
"What are you talking about?"
I give her a 'really?' look. "You've been with me all day." She gives me a look, telling me to go on. "You keep trying to play with my hair." I grunt as she reaches for me again. "Okay, seriously, what's wrong?"
"I'm being clingy, aren't I?"
"I didn't say that."
"But you hinted at it." She pulls her wrists from my hands.
I sigh as she moves over toward the couch in my office. "Ev." She sits down with her feet pulled up, her arms wrapped around her legs. I sigh again, rubbing a hand through my hair, before pushing myself to my feet and walking over to her. I sit beside her. "I'm not saying that you being clingy is a bad thing."
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm saying, when you're clingy like this, it's because you're using me as a distraction. So tell me, what's wrong?"
She sets her feet down and fidgets with her fingers. "They came back." I barely manage to make out the words. "And...I started thinking to myself, what if the only way to get peace is to end it?" She looks up, but it's not at me. "I..." She exhales. "If I died, I wouldn't have to deal with Wyatt, or Jeremy, and I could be happy, but I can't do that. That– That– That's selfish. I-I can't be selfish." Her breathing turns to gasps.
"Hey, hey, Ev, look at me." I grab her hand, and she looks at me. "It's not selfish. You're in pain. But I would never want you to kill yourself." I shake my head, wiping her tears with the pad of my thumb. "You've got me, and Lilly, and Xander, and Ari, and your family. Both found and biological."
Her eyes swell with tears again. "I almost..." She breaks. She sobs and I pull her into me. She cries in my arms, her body shaking with each sob, and I rock us back and forth softly. "Why am I like this? Why can't I just be happy?"
"I don't know." I whisper. "I don't know, baby."
***
Ev lays on my chest as we watch Supernatural. Maxi sleeps on the floor beside us and my hand plays in her hair. Occasionally, I hear a relaxed sigh slip past her lips.
I press a kiss to her hair, wrapping my arms around her. "Sammy!" Dean yells on the TV.
"Have you ever thought about it?" She asks randomly.
"Thought about what?"
"Having a sibling. What it'd be like."
I lay my head back against the pillow. "To be honest, I have." I answer. She turns her head to look up at me. "Living in the foster care system, you tend to wonder if you have any family. Brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, grandparents."
