BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 18- Rekindling

Italicised + Underlined = French

Underlined = English

March 24th, 2017:

I had gotten some on-and-off sleep for about five hours before giving up and going to the hotel gym. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do my intense workout I usually did given how little energy I had. It was so early in the morning, it was empty, but after a little less than an hour of working, a few men came in to get their workout done before whatever work conferences and meetings they had that day. I eyed them unsure. I was in my usual workout clothes compromising of shorts and a sports bra that covered more than most, but it was still not the most conservative of clothing. Once the third man came in, I lost my composure and grabbed my hoodie to get back to my room.

Everyone was still in their rooms, and I took my time showering and getting ready. I couldn't help but think that yesterday had been an overreaction. I don't know why I lost it that badly. Maybe it was that sense of helplessness that just exploded? I had been speaking about trying to put on a brave face, and maybe my mind snapped. I had been putting on a brave face for so long that speaking of it then was the thing that broke the camel's back. Ironic a bit.

And thinking of the situation I found myself in, it didn't seem nearly as bad as the court case situation and yet I was reacting as if it was twice as worse. No one had seen the video, or at least a very small number. The video was now back with the police and once the investigation was over, I was going to burn and destroy them. We could force the man to shut his trap and not have to bring this up ever again. Yes, it was scary to think about how long the video was out there. That my privacy meant nothing to people it seemed, and that overall people felt they had the right to it. But as far as this situation went, it could be a lot worse. In hindsight, I think I was more frustrated and overwhelmed by the fact another person had stepped way over the line of celebrity/public relationships once again. It was draining, scary, and angering to have to go through a situation like this again. That after everything, people weren't seeming to learn or listen.

I only left my room when Sejin texted that we should all be in front of the elevators to head over to the venue. All the boys had stopped by my room to see how I was. Given I wasn't a crying mess, and after my self-reflection, I did seem much better.

"Y/N, your banana," Yoona said, handing me a banana as she got in the passenger seat of the large van, "I know you haven't anything yet".

"Where's my banana?" Taehyung said, eyeing my fruit.

"You had two cereal bowls and an apple," Yoona turned rolling her eyes, "there will be food at the arena, don't worry. Don't you dare share it Y/N, you need to eat".

I smile slightly, she knew me too well.

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We had done our usual run-through, spending more time on Spring Day given yesterday's argument. Taehyung and Seokjin came to a compromise and remained amicable through it all.

We were now getting our hair and makeup done when my sister texted me. She had come down from Montréal with her boyfriend, Kevin. She had finally revealed to him who her famous sister was, and he had taken it surprisingly well. Of course, she did tell me he was surprised and a bit starstruck, but he didn't change how he acted toward her and never asked about me unless it made sense, like if they were already speaking of me. She did text this morning that he was very very excited as he drove them down to New York. He was already an ARMY before he met my sister so to be able to go to a concert for free and then meet the group was probably a dream to him. I'd assumed that she'd arrived by now and expected the text to be some kind of update of the kind