BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 112- V-Live

Underlined = English

December 27th, 2017:

Heeyoung had come over this morning to see me, but I felt it was mainly to see Inigo. She had surprisingly lightened my mood, initially asking me how I was and how devastated she was about Jonghyun, but we moved on to discuss about the gossip at her university, how her and Areum were doing, and our plans for Inigo. She had also suggested I do a V-live citing ARMY had so many questions about my injury and my general well-being after the footage of our appearance at Jonghyun funeral. She had also revealed to me that she had been initially hounded, though she used lighter wording, by people after a footage of her at the concert without her face covered, which was usually done for non-celebrities by fan sites, surfaced. She deleted her social media and started only going to school for class, not lingering to spend time with friends or studying. I think it was this, if anything, that had me texting Yoona I wanted to do live. I needed to set the record straight on the privacy of my friends and things like my injury. I didn't like rumours spreading especially about my friends and with Sodam's words lingering in my mind I had the to have the confidence to be a good person and sometimes that took being a bit direct.

So, I was now at the company after my daily physio appointment in my studio with the companies phone set up for a V-live on a tripod. I took a deep breath and pressed the button to get it started. I turned it on and waited silently for a bit, organising my already organised desk trying to busy myself. I stood up, fixing the pillows on the couch the live could see. When I sat back down, nearly a million people were watching.

"Woah, you guys came in quick," I chuckle, moving the chair closer, "hello," I said in an awkward singsong voice my hand waving like a jazz hand. I laughed embarrassed and quickly put my hand down to look at the comments flying by on the phone.

"I hope everyone is doing well, and before I start anything, just want to say Merry Christmas to all those that celebrate," I say giving ARMY a small smile. I go on to say it in English, French, and only Merry Christmas in Spanish given I hadn't learnt all the vocabulary for that yet, "I think Hannukah also ended recently, so happy Hannukah to all those that celebrate too. Is it Kwanzaa as well? I'm not too sure, sorry if I got it wrong... but happy holidays... I should have just started with that... Happy holidays everyone".

I hide my head in my hand. Why was I being this bad at doing a live? I had done this so many times before. I'd gone on stage in front of thousands a couple of weeks ago and now I was uncomfortably stressing in front of a phone alone in my studio.

"A lot's been happening lately," I continue after a deep breath, "first the elephant in the room," I chuckle, looking down at my arm, "I'll be out of this sling in a couple of weeks. The surgery went well, the tear wasn't as bad as we thought so it'll be a shorter period before I get back to full strength. I do daily physio and it's been going well," I inform those watching smiling reassuringly, "sleeping's definitely more challenging, but you get used to it... My biggest regret is having to miss performing at so many of our concerts and schedules. I feel really bad for ARMY who were excited to see all eight of us," I say biting my lip sadly, "... and you only got the boys," I add as a side note jokingly, as if "just the boys" was a boring thing, trying to rid myself of this strange continuous weight in my heart, "no, I'm joking," I quickly say grinning, "I am truly sorry to ARMY for missing so many important concerts that ARMY were looking forward to".

I frown sadly, leaning forward to see some of the comments. I saw a couple of comments writing that they enjoyed seeing me with my friends at the concert.