BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 77- Worry and Hate

! Mentions of Burning Sun Scandal (so r*pe, sexual assault, drugging) !

Underlined = English

October 2nd, 2017:

We had been keeping busy, very busy. We had several fan signs per day, we were now rehearsing for our end-year performances, filming RUN episodes, finalising our line of animated characters called BT21, we were also doing a remix of Mic Drop with Steve Aoki, and prepping for our trip to the US in November. While all of this was going on, I was still working on my album. I felt like I was almost done, but I just couldn't help but feel like there was one song that was missing, but it was one I had made yet because I'd gone through my whole catalog of beats, melodies, and more finished song and felt like I'd not found it.

I was in my studio, surrounded by four large boxes. Two contained fan letters, while the other two contained fan packages. I had nearly gone through the first box of letters. I was organising the letters by geographical area and size. I had bought a large chest to hold all the fan letters I was planning on painting which was now sitting on the bottom shelf of my shelves. There were only a few letters left in the first box after three hours of reading. I was determined to read them all because people had gone through such an effort to write and send them. I felt like I owed it to them to at least skim. Often times they were extremely vulnerable, and it was only right to read and empathise with ARMY when they were being this vulnerable with me despite them not knowing if I'd ever read it.

I open what looked like the fifth before last letter. It was in a nice purple envelope with several stickers on it.

Hi Y/N,

I thought of putting this through Google Translate to have it be in Korean, but my sister was telling me that it isn't reliable, and you speak English anyway so I think it should be fine.

I never write fan mail, honestly didn't realise you could until my sister suggested it. She's the one that introduced me to you guys. I've only been living with her for a year, but she's already introduced me to so much, I love her so much. I actually grew up mainly in the foster system because my parents aren't good people, but then I was diagnosed with leukemia and no one wanted me after that, so my sister stepped up. She doesn't have a lot of money and has gone into debt trying to care for me, but her and her fiancé are still really nice. She's been a big fan of you since 2014 and showed me you guys because she thought it would cheer me up.

My first comeback was Not Today, and you immediately stood out to me. You're so cool for being the only girl. My sister is a Jin bias, so his posters are up in their apartment, but your posters are in my room (which is also her fiancé's office, but he says he doesn't mind). My sister has all the BTS albums and three of your photocards! She gave me one to attach to my hospital bag. Your hair matches the colour of the bag so it's really cute.

I listen to your songs when I go to chemo and have to stay at the hospital. I used to hate going, but now that I've made the nurses into ARMY it's more fun. We talk about the group, and we even watched the Billboard's together. You looked so good! Like a real goddess!
My favourite song is probably Not Today or Never Let Me Go. They've both kept me going when I feel like giving up. When I saw that you'd lost your mom to cancer, it made me like you even more because it means you probably understand what I'm going through a bit. I can feel quite lonely because I can't go to school anymore and I don't have that many friends anymore, but when I think that you know what I'm going through, I feel less lonely. When I saw ARMY donating money to cancer research, it made my heart grow. ARMY online have been so nice to me and made me even less lonely too.