BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 23- Spider

Underlined = English

March 28th, 2017:

We had filmed a BTS RUN episode, worked out as a group despite my workout being different, and finally gotten a couple of hours to ourselves. However, I had decided to do a Vlive during this time. I hadn't done a solo one in a bit and the staff thought one of us should do a live. 

"Why is everyone wondering about my skin care routine?" I question, seeing several comments about it, "my skin really isn't that great".

With all the travel and stress lately, I had been breaking out more.

"I mean if you guys really want to know," I shrug, not really seeing any harm in it. I stand up, taking the tripod with the phone with me to the bathroom.

"Brands," the marketing staff that had stayed with me in my room to supervise muttered.

"Don't worry, I'll turn them around," I reassure her as I walked into the bathroom.

I place the camera down and do a step by step of all the products I had with me while hiding the labels.

"This is what I do while on tour, but when I'm in Korea, it differs a bit sometimes," I say, putting down the last product.

I go back to the desk I was at at the start of the live.

"I don't know what the boys do for their skin care, they probably all do different things," I say, once again seeing comments asking about the boys. I had also seen several of these comments on Twitter and Youtube a lot as well, comments saying that I was so lucky to have the boys near me. That I was so lucky to be in the group and be with them on a daily basis, to see the boys relaxed and behind the scenes. It was very dispiriting since it meant these people didn't really see me as part of the group. I was the extra girl.

"Tintin (family cat)? He had surgery recently, but he's doing well I think," I answer to an English comment asking about how he was, "he had a tumor removed. But he is getting old, so his health is bound to start worsening slightly. I just hope I get to see him one last time".

"Oh, yeah, my family loved the concert. My dad and stepmom and her kids watched the two nights in New York and my sister watched one. They were really impressed. They never get to see me, so it was really special for me," I say referencing a comment asking if my family had gone to the New York show, "my sister's boyfriend is an ARMY, so I think he was the most excited out of all of them".

I chuckle thinking about how overwhelmed he looked in the lounge backstage. The same comments about how amazing it must be for me to see the boys every day were passing through in both Korean and English and I was getting annoyed. I had noticed the more the fanbase grew, the more casual fans we got. I didn't mind, fans were fans, but what I did mind was that often they seemed to focus on one member or see me as a second-class member. It was also made worse that I was the only one getting these comments. I thought I'd moved past being doubted by fans, but I supposed with the speed the fanbase was growing, there were bound to be recurring comments by people who hadn't lived through the first couple of times the fanbase had to deal with such issues. I pursed my lips, trying to hold back.