BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 102- MAMA 2017

Underlined = English

November 30th, 2017:

Both my and Timothée's Ellen interviews had been broadcast and our relationship had been thrust back into the limelight. It seemed like Timothée's denial really was the nail in the coffin for most, however. Especially Army's (his co-star) comment they felt that we really were just friends. We weren't holding hands or being overly close in any of the pictures they had access to. Some felt upset I was friends with him to begin with, kind of a twisted betrayal to the boys and them or something, but they were very much in the minority. It was annoying his words seemed to be of more value than mine, but at the end of the day I just wanted to put this behind us and if his comments were going to do that, then so, annoyingly, be it.

Against my wishes, I had been resting a lot more than I wanted to which meant I was also rehearsing less than the others. I was present and motioning the movements, but not doing it as intensely which made me feel like I wasn't going to be as prepared on the day. I was also going to the gym a lot less, Yoona having called them to let them know not to allow me to more than two times a week and to please not allow me to do any strenuous exercises. I felt like a wilting vegetable honestly.

However, we were now in Hong Kong and had just gone through the dry rehearsal for our performance. We'd all gone less intense than we would on the day, and it had gone, at best, okay. Yoongi, Jimin, and I missed our beat for the intro with the light show. We ran through it again and Yoongi and I once again messed up. I was getting annoyed but we couldn't rehearse anymore since we had to make way for another group to rehearse.

"I'm sorry guys," I say guiltily, "I'll review and make sure it won't happen tomorrow".

"It's okay, you basically had it the second time," Jimin says, patting my shoulder.

"It was rough for all of us," Hoseok says, "we all should review".

I frowned as the physios tapped a cold compress to my shoulder, already looking at the videos taken by the managers of our performance, before getting into the vans. My shoulder was feeling like it was getting better, but as the physios said, given when I'd hurt it, it should be basically healed by now, and it obviously wasn't.

We got back to the hotel and went through the dance in the suite once more. Finally, I was taped up for bed and went to sleep after what felt like a 48 hour day.

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December 1st, 2017:

I woke up, showered, and was the first ready to go. I wasn't about to have any mishaps today.

"Didn't expect you so early," the physio chuckles, taping a warm compress to my shoulder.

"I'm prepared," I smile nodding proudly having already stretched and everything.

When everyone else was ready, after running through the choreo one last time, we went to the venue to change into our red carpet outfits. I would be wearing a sleeveless long black dress with two silver flowers designs. The flower stems traced along my curves and the real flower part were quite big and covered most of my chest and upper torso area. The dress just touched the floor when I wore my surprisingly tall heels and had a roughly 30cm front slit. My hair, which I'd died with some silver highlights, was down and my makeup was much softer than the AMAs.