Timothée Chalamet Imagines

-see you again-

⚠️this might be triggering for people who are going through a hard time, if you are not comfortable with it, please don't read. DO READ THE LETTER I WROTE FOR YOU UNDERNEATH THIS IMAGINE. It might help if you're going through a hard time! ⚠️

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TIMMY's POV

''Y/n?!'' She was equally as shocked as I was and turned around abruptly once she heard my voice.

''No, y/n, wait!'' I grabbed her arm and spun her around.

''Where have you been?'' I asked, still in shock of her appearance.

She looked bad.

She was skinny like a stick and she had dark circles underneath her lifeless eyes.

''Please don't make me do this.'' She whispered. I saw tears brim in her eyes, adding a little sparkle to the somewhat emotionless expression.

''Why? You think I'm just gonna let you go without talking to you? It's been 4 fucking months, y/n. No calls, to texts, not even a fucking message that you were okay. What happened?''

I thought back to the day when I received the last text she would ever sent me.

'I can't do this anymore. Please don't come looking for me.' Was all she left me with.

No apology, no explanation, just that little, meaningless text that left me doubting my entire existence.

''It's complicated. Just please accept that I can't tell you.'' She stared at the ground, avoiding any eye contact with me.

''No. I've dealt with complicated, so I'm sure I can handle it. You've done this once, you're not gonna do it again. Tell me, or I'm going to make you tell me.'' It came way too harsh, but I was furious and deeply hurt.

''It's not something I like to talk about, Timmy. Please accept that.'' She looked me in the eyes.

She was broken.

I've seen her on her worst, or that's what I thought.

But seeing her like this, made me question if I knew her at all.

She was a stranger.

''Please, y/n. Tell me. Please, I'm begging you. You left me with nothing. I tried to forget you, but I just can't. Just tell me, even just for closure. But I can't handle this anymore.'' Tears stung in my eye, but I refused to cry in front of her. I didn't want to make her feel bad.

''You really want to know? Well I'll tell you, Timothée. I tried to kill myself. My parents found me, numb and unconscious in my bathroom. They put me in a mental house, somewhere far away from my home and friends and family. They all treated me like I was a fucking lunatic, but they didn't know what was going on in my head. They just tried to cope with me by stuffing me with medicines all day. And yeah, I do feel a little better. But I didn't have time to say goodbye so that's why you got that small, meaningless text. I'm sorry that I'm depressed, Timothée. I really am.'' I was in complete awe of what she had said.

I had no clue of who she was.

I hadn't noticed a thing about her when we were together.

''W-what? Why d-didn't you tell me?'' I asked, feeling disappointed in myself for not noticing.

''It's not exactly something I like to brag about. I'm not gonna be like: ''hey, voices in my head are constantly telling me that I'm doing everything wrong. Let's just kill myself because then I don't have to deal with it.'''' Her tone was somehow sarcastic, trying to make it sound like a joke.

''Have you ever seen that video of a guy saying that when we break our arm, everyone runs up to us to sign the cast. When we say we have depression, everyone runs away from us. And I really didn't want to believe that, but I've told people and I found out it's actually true.'' She continued. A tear escaped from my eye, gliding down my cheek slowly.

''I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. I just really don't know what to do right now.'' I didn't want to say that I didn't know what to say or do. I tried to say something comforting, but I honestly don't know what she went through so I don't know how to make her feel better.

''Never mind. I'm okay now.'' She said, going back to her emotionless state.

''No, let me be there for you. I don't know how, but I want to be there for you. Because you are worth it. I don't know what is going on in your head, but I can help you by listening and comforting you. I want to. Please just don't push me away.'' I whispered. And I meant it.

I embraced her gently but with force, wanting to let her know that I'm not going anywhere.

And after a few moments she hugged me back and I knew that she was gonna get through this.

She is strong, beautiful and kind and she didn't deserve this.

She was gonna battle this like a champ, she was gonna outgrow her fears and insecurities and she was gonna feel good again.

Because it's possible.

-

Dear readers,

Recently I've finally closed an emotional and hard chapter of my life. In 2017 I was depressed. Every day was a battle and I didn't believe I was going to make it til the end of the year.
I did make it.
I have faced my depression, fears and insecurities and I've become a stronger version of myself. What really helped was to write my thoughts down. I'm not gonna go into detail of what it was like to be depressed, but it was horrible and I would not wish it to someone in a million years.
When you're depressed, you find out who and who aren't your really friends. It's true that most people run away from you once you speak out about depression. It's hard at first, but in the end you will grow stronger and you will be glad those people are out of your life.
What I want to say is that you can make it. It's possible to get 'better' and be happy again. If you are going through a hard time right now, know that you can do it, you will always have people around you who are there for you and that you have your WHOLE life ahead of you so that if you give up, you're going to miss out on all the fun that is waiting for you.
Feel free to reach out to me if you want to talk. I'm not a psychologist, but I know what it's like and I want to be there for those who need it.
I did it, so you can do it too.
If you read this, thank you so much and I hope I inspired you to fight a little longer.
Remember that suicide and self harm are NOT an option.
I love you all so much and you're going to make it through.

Love,
Yours truly

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