Our Moments {N•H}

27

Friday August 7th 2015
Noelles POV
-.-

I clutched my bloated tum in the mirror and huffed. Baby dot kicked against my tummy as if to say "mammy stop feeling self conscious"
I smiled weakly. I knew i shouldn't be feeling self conscious as i was carrying me and Nialls precious little girl. But i just couldn't shift that feeling of self loathe.

It didn't help either, reading comments about me every day, stating how much or how little weight i had gained while pregnant. It was either excessive or abnormal. I couldn't win. Niall had been a dream. Constantly reassuring me i was fine. Taking me to see the nurse to reassure me. Giving out to his followers. Blocking the media. A dream. But just some days. He wasn't the best at keeping me happy. Today was gonna be one of those days...

"Noelle your literally perfect baby please stop worrying" he says wrapping his arms around me and bump.

"Stop calling me perfect. Im not perfect"

"Noelle but you.."

"Im not fucking perfect. Ask the "fans". Some fucking fans that slate me all the time"

Niall frowned

"They're just jealous baby that your about to give birth to little Miss Horan"

I roll my eyes

"What?" He asks slightly agitated by my bitchy behavior.

"Im not even married to you. So what if baby is gonna be an O'Connor instead of a horan?" I say looking at him.

His face is blank. I could see how much it hurt him. I didn't care. I was 20, pregnant and hormonal.

"Eh.. i..i- i thought we .. were gonna have her name as ..... ...... horan"

I frown.

"Ive changed my mind."

"But do you not think that-"

"I don't want to hear it"

"What about Horan-O'Connor?"Niall suggests trying to compromise.

I say nothing.

"You don't appreciate me anymore"i whisper

He looks at me. His jaw practically on the ground.

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Yeah i am. You don't love me"

"Ofcourse i fucking love you! If i didn't fucking love you Noelle i'd be well gone. I love you and i need you"

"Well i don't need you.."i whisper

"I know you don't Noelle. Because your a beautiful,strong woman"

"Stop. Just stop"

"Whats wrong Noe?" Niall begins. He had now teary eyes from my cold attitude towards him.

"I don't wanna talk about it" i mutter.

"Noelle.."

"NIALL FUCK OFF" I shout he looks at me.

"You need to go get some air and sort yourself out and have some time alone with just you and dot. Im gonna go for a walk.. i might stay in Harry and Louis tonight.. yeah. Just to give you some extra space."

"No its okay.. im the one with the issue. Ill go and take a day to relax and feel better in myself" i sigh and he nods. He wraps his arm around me.

"I love you Noe."

"I love you more Nialler"

-.-
And that was that. Me and Niall were taking a break for a few days. To give outselves time out before our baby was here. I didn't necessarily see it as us splitting up. But i wasn't sure. We would be ridiculous to split up over one of my bad moods. But maybe he can't handle my mood swings anymore. I panicked in the car and drove myself to Liam and Lotties apartment where i knew I could count on the couple to help me feel better.

"Hey Noe " Lottie smiles as she opens the door as day was just turning to dusk.

"hi" i smile weakly. She looks me up and down. I was wearing a big baggy jumper, my face was makeup free and my hair was in a messy bun. I look deflated and tired.

"Jesus. Are you okay?"

I shake my head and with that the tears roll down my face.

"I fucked up" i cry and she pulls me in for a hug. I hear Liam approach the door as he tells Lottie to bring me inside.

She takes my hand and leads me to the sofa where she wraps her arms around me again , until i speak.

"I was in a bitchy mood. I felt self conscious about gaining weight and Niall kept telling me i was perfect and that i shouldn't be self conscious as i was growing another human. Normally that always cheers me up but today it didn't and i told him to stop complimenting me as i didn't feel one bit beautiful. Then i slipped out that the baby would be Baby O'Connor instead of Horan. I shouted at him. I gave out we weren't married. I told him to fuck off. Now were taking a few days apart all because of my stupid fucking mood swing" i sobbed and Lotties eyes are downturned as she looks at me disappointed.

Liam clasps my hand.

"You can't be annoyed at yourself for being hormonal" Lottie says comfortingly.

"Yeah Lotties always a moody bitch too when shes on her period"Liam smiles and Lottie nods her head.

"It wasn't even just me being moody though. I was mean. I seen him hurt and i kept on digging. Im awful. He must fucking hate me" i sob

"No noelle. He doesn't hate you. By god that boy idolizes you. Your literally perfection to him" liam says looking at me straight in the eyes. Lottie wipes my tears and makes me a hot cup of tea.

"Times like this i wish i could get drunk"i whisper and laugh a little as i wipe away the tears.

Lottie giggles. "So.. is the baby gonna be an O'Connor?" Lottie asks gently. She wasn't asking to intrude or be rude. She was asking simply because Louis was expecting a baby also and she was wondering if her brothers baby would take the Tomlinson name or Clark, like their mother.

"No. Horan of course. I don't know why i even suggested that it would be O'Connor. Its the most stupidest thing I've ever came out with in my life"

"Hey you were upset in the heat of the moment. Your allowed say a few silly things"Liam says comfortingly as he hands her a cup of tea.

"All that matters is that you and Niall take your little day or two break from each other and then you let him know .. ofcourse our princess is gonna be a horan. That will do it. He doesn't hate you Noe, he can't get mad for you being hormonal. Your in your final stretch of the pregnancy, you were officially 8 months pregnant on the 2nd so you have every reason to just be fed up with the extra hormones, all you want is your baby at this point. So i want you to go, shower and sort yourself out. Liam has a pair of fresh tracky bottoms you can put them on and ill find you a jumper to keep you comfy and fresh after your showerIll get Liam to go get you some clothes from yours later, we'll order a takeaway and get in some sweets and chill food and we can have a girly night plus Liam.That okay?" Lottie smiles.

"Yes so perfect. Thank you guys. I love you both endlessly." i awe hugging them both.

"No bother Noelle.. anytime." Liam smiles as he goes off to fetch one of Lotties jumpers and his tracksuit bottoms as they were more suitable for me and the bump at this point in my pregnancy.

-.-

After a goodnights giggle with Liam and Lottie, i dived under the duvet and debated texting Niall to just check in and make sure everything was as it should be between us. I wasn't fully ready to apologize yet but i was more than certain tomorrow would be a better day for us...

Well.. i thought.