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Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty dump. A Turkish woman living in Daegu had a boyfriend who kept beating her up. So one evening during a fight, she picked up a butcher knife and stabbed the prick to death. Consequently, she will now have to spend the next twelve years in prison. Korea is one of the safest countries in the world, but bad shit happens from time to time.
Anyway, I went into the living room and noticed Rice-Boy Larry's electric blanket piled up against the wall. Then I walked to the big bathroom and found blankets in the tub. There was also vomit on the floor and walls.
I knocked on his bedroom door. "What the fuck happened?"
He said, "I got sick last night."
"Couldn't you make it to the toilet in time?"
"No, it happened all of a sudden."
I sighed heavily. "Are you feeling OK now?"
"I'm fine, but I ate too much pork steak for my birthday dinner. My stomach simply couldn't hold all that food."
I have to be honest. Cleaning up his puke was no walk in the park. And washing his filthy blankets wasn't exactly the highlight of my life, either. In fact, I kept cursing the poor boy's name under my breath. But then God's wrath hit me like a lightning bolt. The Holy Spirit told me to stop acting like an asshole and to grow a pair of balls. Larry is my child, after all. So if I'm not going to wipe up his vomit, then who will?
I sat on the sofa and watched Fox News for a little while. My cable provider here on the peninsula is called KT, and my package comes with several English-speaking channels. According to the talking heads at the network, Trump is beating Joe Biden in most of the polls. I'm a huge fan of Orange Donald. I enjoy all his jokes, and he never fails to make me laugh.
Yet the true powers which rule our sinful world will never allow him to enter the White House again. Rather, they prefer little ass kissers like Nikki Haley. And why not? She has no problem sucking Wall Street cock. Plus she's willing to send our troops overseas to get their nuts shot off in stupid wars. She's a true company girl. That's why the Deep State loves her.
Anyway, let me get down from my soapbox...
Later in the afternoon, I caught a taxi to church with Rice-Boy Larry by my side. The sermon focused on Isaiah 53. It's the one about the man of suffering who is crushed by God to save mankind from their sins. The chapter was written roughly 600 years before the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. My pastor says that Isaiah 53 has been banned in Israel, yet I'm not really sure if his claim is true. His statement sounds a little farfetched to me. But what do I know?
After the service, we walked to a restaurant for a big bowl of comja-tong. Comja-tong is the Korean word for pig and potato soup. I drank a bottle of soju and a can of beer while stuffing my face.
Larry said, "I really wish that Mom wasn't coming to visit in a couple of days."
I shrugged my shoulders. "She's just wants to wish you a happy birthday, and then she's driving back to her family's house."
"So you don't think she has plans to stay?"
"Who knows what's in that woman's head. But I'm not going to let her evil ways bring me down. What happens happens."
I've been married to the Dragon Lady for twenty-five years, and in my opinion, she suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. These loons go through four distinct cycles. First comes idealization. This is when they tell you how much they love you. Next is devaluation. Suddenly, you're nothing but a cunt in their eyes. Then we have the discard phase. And you guessed it. They run away from their spouse. Last but not least is hoovering. This is when they try to suck you back into their universe because nobody else is willing to put up with their nonsense.
It's all very tiresome. But what's a boy to do? After all, I did marry the crazy bitch.
