Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. Koreans aren't having sex, and the entire race is dying out. Consequently, the government has decided to import Filipino maids so that working women can have cheap daycare. These maids will make the minimum wage, which comes to roughly seven bucks an hour. The problem is that most families don't want to hire a fulltime domestic assistant. Therefore, these foreign ladies will have to learn to survive on about a thousand dollars a month. Good luck with that.
Later that morning, I struck up a conversation with Rice-Boy Larry.
I said, "How's your toe doing?"
He shrugged. "It doesn't hurt, but all that gauze is very uncomfortable."
"Well, do what the doctors tell you. Remember, it cost me fifty bucks to send you to the specialist. So try not to throw my money away."
He changed the subject. "I wish you hadn't of told Mom."
"I don't know what to say. You're her son, and you broke a bone. It just came to me naturally."
"Yes, but she's such a crazy asshole."
I released a heavy sigh. "Let's look at it from the Christian perspective. We live in a broken world filled with crazy assholes."
"You're making excuses."
"Of course I'm making excuses. There's no instruction manual for this type of crap. What? You think I know what I'm doing?"
I caught the bus and got to my office by 7:30 a.m. Then I made a shitload of copies for grammar instruction. It took forever. After that, I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "How's Sis?"
"She's OK. Her boss at work is leaving her alone. So she's going to finish out the year in peace."
I nodded in approval. "That's great. Why rock the boat?"
"And your son seems to be OK, too. He spends too much time in his room playing on that fucking computer. But other than that, he's doing well."
"Are you still selling your house?"
She took a swallow of Coke. "Yes. But nobody has come to look at it."
"Well, the mortgage rates are up to seven percent."
"I know. That old motherfucker has really screwed up our country big time. We may never recover."
Mom hates Biden with a passion. In fact, she blames the hapless geezer for everything under the heavens and stars. And I hate the ancient son of a bitch, too. But I don't think we ever fully recovered from the Great Recession. This inflation was bound to happen sooner or later. Yet I'm really surprised the eggheads from Wall Street and Washington D.C. were able to keep it under control for all these years. But what do I know? I'm just a broke dead dick.
My day went OK. I'm still reading excerpts from The Canterbury Tales with my high schoolers. They don't find the material very interesting, but too fucking bad. I'm having a blast with the stuff. I now understand why Sheldon Cooper's girlfriend is such a huge fan of Chaucer. The guy is a lot of fun.
I eventually got home at 6 p.m. and completed my love affair with Ripley. I can't tell you retards how much I loved the show. It was fabulous. And now I'm a little sad that it's over.
