Yesterday, I woke up at 5 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A company called Play Joker is trying to organize a sex festival in South Korea. Their plan is to bring lots of Japanese porn stars to Seoul so that Korean fans can collect the autographs of their favorite stars. However, the government is putting down the clamps on the whole project. This is a conservative nation, and naughty women and horny men are not welcomed in the land.
I struck up a brief conversation with Rice-Boy Larry later that morning.
I said, "I had a strange dream."
"What was it about?"
"A goat was chasing me and slamming his horns into my skull. Now I have a throbbing headache."
"That's weird. I had a crazy nightmare, too."
"And what was yours about?"
"Mom was standing over my bed."
We haven't heard a word from the Dragon Lady in the last six weeks. Sometimes, I wonder if she's found a new boyfriend. Not that it would bother me. I've got other fish to fry.
I patted him on the shoulder. "Things will get better."
"I don't mind that she's gone. I'm just worried that she might come back."
I nodded sympathetically. "Mental illness is a bitch. So try to remember that your mother is a sick woman. She probably can't help herself."
I caught the bus and made it to my office by 7:30 a.m. Then I spent the next twenty minutes at the photocopying machine. After that, I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
She said, "I've stopped taking my Lexapro, and it's really helped with my energy."
I said, "Have you told the doctor?"
"I don't see him until next month."
I frowned at her. "Is it safe to discontinue the medicine without his approval?"
"It doesn't matter to me. My ass was dragging. I'd rather be dead than live like a zombie."
"Well, you're a grown woman. I guess you can make up your own mind." I changed the subject. "How's Sis doing?"
"She found another job. So she's going to leave her current shithole at the end of the school year."
"Wow. That didn't take long."
Mom took a long swallow from a can of Coke. "They're crying out of teachers in the United States. They can't find enough suckers to fill the ranks. You should think about it."
I turned up my nose at her suggestion. "I'd rather fucking cook at the Waffle House. Teaching is for the birds."
"Well, I'm simply letting you know."
My classes went OK. I gave a grammar test to the middle school students. Most of them did fine. Yet I have a few pupils who are complete knuckleheads. Don't get me wrong. They're nice kids who are always kind to their poor old teachers It's just that they won't be attending Harvard any time soon. But that's OK. I'm not Harvard material, either.
I eventually got home at 6 p.m. and vacuumed the floor. Then I made myself a bacon sandwich for dinner. I finally got to sit down around 8 p.m., and I switched on Netflix. I'm still watching Ripley. It's a great fucking show. I'm on the part where Tom's dragging Freddie's body down the stairs.
