A Fool in Korea

Mommy Issues

Yesterday evening, I took Rice-Boy Larry for pizza. He was in his room playing some stupid computer game when I poked my head in the door.

He sneered at me. "Yeah?"

I said, "Let's go eat."

"Where?"

"The chicken house."

He rolled his eyes in disgust. "I'm tired of that place. Plus I'm ashamed of the way you ogled the owner's young daughter. You're like Jeffery fucking Epstein."

I sighed heavily. "C'mon, son. I'm not Jeffery fucking Epstein. The woman in question is legal. Plus I never spoke a word to her."

"Your lust was written on your face."

"Are you a mind reader now? Furthermore, she probably enjoyed my gaze. Have you ever thought about that? Pretty females like to be acknowledged for their beauty. It makes them feel special."

He smirked at me and chuckled. "Did you read that in a fortune cookie?" 

I changed the subject. "What about pizza?"

"Huh?"

"Pizza." I paused for dramatic effect. "It's a nice change from chicken, right?"

Anyway, he eventually succumbed to the temptation, and we both put on our jackets and hats. January is fucking cold in Korea, so you have to wrap up to face the weather. Then we walked to a restaurant named Pizza Avalano. I had never been there before, but it's near my house. That's the great thing about Seoul. You can pretty much find a decent place to eat on every street corner.

On our way, we found a little kitten. It was on the sidewalk chirping for its missing mother.

I said, "Do you want to bring it home?"

"Are you for real?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why not? Animals make a house a happy place to live."

"OK. I've never had a cat before."

So I bent down to pick it up. However, it hissed and attempted to scratch me before bolting away.

I turned to my son. "Well, that idea appears to be out the window."

We got to the shop five minutes later, and the female behind the counter waved to me like a long lost friend. Of course, I didn't recognize her, so I bowed politely and waved back. Then my son ordered the food in Korean. 

While we were sitting at our table, Rice-Boy Larry struck up a conversation.

"Do you know that woman?"

I said, "She looks familiar, yet I can't place her face."

"She keeps staring at you."

"Maybe she thinks I'm sexy."

We began eating our vittles when she approached.

"Don't you remember me, Mr. Woodd?"

"Sure I remember you. Don't you live in our same apartment building."

She frowned. "I'm Minsoo. You used to be my teacher many years ago before you moved to Beijing."

I clapped my hands together to show my enthusiasm. "Minsoo! Of course. Now I remember."

"My mom and dad own this place. I'm the manager."

I took a bite from my slice and grinned. "This is the best pizza ever. You guys must be making a fortune."

She nodded. "We're doing OK."

"Well, that's great. I wish you the best of luck in the future."

We got home at 9 p.m., and I walked to my room. Then I relaxed in bed as I watched porn. I found a fuck and facial compilation which I enjoyed very much. It really turned me on. Needless to say, I had a first-rate wank before calling it a night.

I woke up at 9 a.m. the following day and drank a cup of instant coffee. After that, I read the headlines on my phone while taking a nasty shit. Two elderly ladies owned separate coffee shops in the cities of Yanju and Ilsan. The victims were both murdered in the same week. The police think that they both fell victim to the same perpetrator. Something tells me that this whacko has mommy issues.