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Yesterday, I woke up at 6 a.m. and drank a cup of instant coffee. Then I read the headlines on my smartphone while taking a nasty shit. A Korean woman moved to the African nation of Malawi. Last Wednesday, she left her house and was murdered by one of the locals. The police are investigating the crime, but things move at a slow pace in Africa. On top of that, Korea doesn't have diplomatic relations with Malawi. So the bigshots in Seoul are requesting help from Zimbabwe. Good luck with that.
I called my mother using Facebook Messenger.
I said, "My job is burying me alive with endless work. I can barely breathe."
She said, "That's not good."
"But what can I do? If I come back to Texas, I'll have to live off your largesse until I find gainful employment. And the last thing I want to be is a sixty-year-old mama's boy. What would the neighbors think?"
She took a sip of cola from a large cup. "Fuck the neighbors."
"It's my pride. I care about appearances."
Mom suddenly changed the subject. "How was the trip to your mother-in-law's house?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "OK, I guess."
"Did she yell at you for being cruel to her daughter?"
I shook my head. "Actually, both my in-laws were very pleasant. I think everybody knows that the Dragon Lady is a loon. Even her parents."
"I certainly hope that you're not thinking of taking her back."
I sighed heavily. "I'm still fucking married according to the law. If she wants to return, then there ain't a fucking thing I can do."
Later that morning, I caught the bus to work. It was a smooth ride. The driver was extremely polite and followed all of the traffic rules. That's unusual for Korea. Normally, the daily commute is a scary experience filled with near-misses, and sudden stops and starts.
I got to my office at 8:15 a.m. and drank another cup of Joe. Then I walked to Mr. Richard Hurtz's room for some pleasant conversation.
He said, "Did you catch the Super Bowl?"
I sadly shook my head. "It was a real tear jerker. I was rooting for the 49ers."
"Well, they should have won the game, but they pissed it away with stupid mistakes."
"I guess the guys were nervous. I mean, it can't be easy being on such a large stage."
He smiled at me. "Bunch of fucking losers."
Lunch in the cafeteria was a real downer. All the food was filled with cheese. I never eat the stuff. The taste makes me want to gag. I even order pizza with just sauce and pepperoni. So I was forced to fill my growling belly with rice and soup.
I eventually caught the bus back to my apartment at 5:15 p.m. Rice-Boy Larry was leaving right when I stepped in the door.
I said, "Where the hell are you going?"
"To play basketball with my friends."
"What about dinner?"
"I'll buy a hamburger along the way."
So I did some laundry by my lonesome. Then I made myself a bacon sandwich for dinner. It tasted fantastic. I've become quite the cook since my wife skipped out on me.
After that, I sat on the sofa and watched Netflix. I'm currently enjoying a drama called Boy Swallows Universe. It's extremely fucking depressing. It's about these two kids who keep getting abused by the adults in their lives. My life might suck ass, but there are a lot of people out in the world who've had it much worse than me. For some reason, this knowledge fills me with hope.
